


Acceptable Collateral

by Acacia_Mac



Series: Mandatory Refusal [2]
Category: La Femme Nikita, Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Drug Use, F/M, M/M, Many Others - Freeform, Rape, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 05:36:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 31,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4693985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acacia_Mac/pseuds/Acacia_Mac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part<br/>2 of the Series Mandatory Refusal<br/>Takes place <b>immediately</b> after My Own Prison.  The Directory has been<br/>stolen, and now the gang is in trouble.  Can they survive and get back to their<br/>lives?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the best Beta around.  Without you, Gia, this never would be what it is. <G>
> 
> NOTE:  In order to make sure that people don’t get confused, I am having QaF Michael as Mikey throughout and LFN Michael as Michael. 
> 
> Disclaimer:   
> Do not belong to me… don’t sue

* * * * * * * * *

End of My Own Prison 

_ “What’s the big emergency?” _

__

_ Vance moved and sat down in the chair that Mikey just vacated.  “We have a slight problem.”  Brian just looked at Vance, waiting for the man to explain.  Taking a deep breath, Vance calmed enough to continue.  “Have you heard from your contacts in Section today?” _

__

_ Brian thought about the question, and realized that the answer was no.  Normally by now he would have at least one e-mail, but he had been so busy that he hadn’t noticed the lack of one.  Turning back to his computer, Brian quickly logged into his account and scanned for new messages.  Seeing none, he opened his safe and pulled out a small PDA that Walter had given him before he left.  Walter had explained that it was the only way that they would be able to contact each other in case of emergency, without all the security protocols.  Nothing.  “What’s going on?” Brian asked, fear began to creep into his bones.   _

__

_ “It has come to my attention that the Collective now has the Directory.” Vance explained. _

__

_ Brian looked at his boss and shook his head.  “What’s that?” _

__

_ Vance closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose.  “It is a list… Specifically a list of every Operative that we have… locations for everything that we have.  Locations of the Sections, the Operatives… US.” _

__

_ Brian leaned back in his chair, suddenly realizing what this meant.  Justin had told him about the time the Directory had last gotten into the wrong hands.  It had ended up with a war between the Sections and Red Cell.  Many people had lost their lives, and the Section was destroyed.  “What are we going to do?  What the fuck can we do?”  Brian asked.   _

__

_ If the Collective knew where everyone was located, Brian knew that not only was Justin in trouble, but he was as well.  Everything that they had worked hard to build, that they were trying to prevent was now in danger of being destroyed.  “We pray.” Vance said.  “I have been told that someone is on their way here now.  They will make sure that we get to a safe, secure location.  We can only hope that this will be over soon.” _

__

_ Brian closed his eyes, and sent a prayer out for the safety of Justin and Walter.  He wanted to make sure that they survived this, and that they all came out of this in one piece.  The Sections were now on their own, as were they.  He knew the protocol, and it meant that all communications were stopped.  A complete lockdown was now in effect.  They only way out of it was to get the information back… one way or the other.  Brian only hoped that they would all come out of it on top. _

__

_ “Guess Friday night with the guys is out, huh?” Brian joked.  “Fuck!” _

* * * * * * * * *

“So basically what you’re telling me is that they have the Directory, and we’re all screwed?  I thought there were supposed to be contingencies and shit like that in place.” Brian said standing from his chair.  The man began to pace around the room, wondering what all of this shit really meant.  Had his life really changed that much in two months?  Was it two months ago when he hadn’t needed to worry about death and destruction?  _‘God, Justin tried to warn me.  He warned me and I didn’t listen.  I thought I could handle it.  But what about Gus?  What about my friends?  If they come after me and one of them is around…’_   Brian closed his eyes, not wanting to think of anyone he cared about being placed in harm’s way.

Then Justin came to mind.  The young man that he loved.  Justin placed his life on the line every day, and there was nothing that Brian could do about it.  Nothing that he could say to change that simple fact.  It was the one thing that Brian hated above all.  And now… now the enemy had their Directory, and it looked like things had just taken a turn for the worse.  “Wait a minute… I thought that it was encrypted.  I thought that there were things in place so that it wouldn’t get into the wrong hands?  What the fuck happened?”

Vance sat in the chair and looked up at Brian with his head slightly bent.  “I don’t know.  I haven’t been told anything really except that someone will be here shortly to take us to a safe location.  Information is hard to get out, and with communications down… We’re on our own.”

“Fuck!” Brian swore.  He hated this.  “I have to tell Lindsey… my son.  I have to at least let her know that I’ll be out of town for a couple of days, maybe longer.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.  We can’t use the phones, or else we might let them know that we know.”  Vance said shaking his head.  “They have the phones tapped.  If we let on that we know they have the Directory and that they have successfully decrypted it, then we’re all dead.  They will kill us LONG before anyone can come and get us.”

Brian nodded, realizing for the first time what it was they were facing.  “Okay.” He began, turning so he can face his boss.  “I’m going to go out for a bit… Go to the diner or somewhere.  That way they can’t trace me… it’ll be just like any other day.  I’ll somehow get a message to Lindsey, and then I’ll come back here within the hour.  They shouldn’t be here by then.  If they are, you go with them, and I’ll get out of town.”

“Brian, I don’t think that it is a good idea.  We need to stick together.”  Vance tried to reason with his friend.  And they were friends, had become friends anyway since now the secrets between the two were non-existent.  “If you go out there… there is a damn good chance that they will find you and kill you on the spot.  It’s safer here.  I for one am NOT into getting shot.  I’ve done that before, thank-you and it’s not fun.  Have you ever been shot?  If you had you would know that.”

Brian sat on the edge of his desk.  “No, I haven’t been shot, and I don’t plan on starting now.  But I have to make sure that Gus is safe.  You of all people should know that.”  Vance looked into Brian’s eyes and after a couple of minutes nodded.  “I’ll be back within the hour.  Stay here.”  Brian grabbed his jacket off of the back of his chair and headed for the door.  “Don’t go anywhere.”

“Where the hell would I go?” Vance asked as he watched Brian leave.  He only hoped that his friend would return safely.  In times like this, it was hard to tell.  And if his time as Mick Schtoppel told him anything, if it had taught him anything at all, it was that people die.  He didn’t want to lose anyone else that he cared about.  He didn’t want to lose the friend he had just made.  “I didn’t sign on for this.” he said to thin air.  Shaking his head he leaned back in the chair and waited.

* * * * * * * * *

Brian parked his car down the street and began the trek through the late evening crowd toward the Diner.  He had to tell Lindsey, make sure that they were going to be safe.  Despite what Vance had told him, Brian believed that if he said he was out of town that the Collective would leave his family alone.  If they knew he told them that, then they would concentrate their efforts on finding him.  He had to make sure that everyone was safe, and that they wouldn’t be hurt by his new life.  

No matter what Brian had learned during his time in Section and with the Center, he had never thought that it would effect him.  Yeah, it would effect him because of Justin, but this… this was way out of the scope of what he had thought.  It wasn’t supposed to be this way.  Things were supposed to be separate.  Now his entire world – both worlds – were crashing in around him, and there was nothing he could do about it.  Something had gone wrong – terribly wrong – and now… now he felt lost.  He didn’t have the type of training to deal with this sort of mess… they hadn’t gotten to the point where he would need it.  Yeah, he had talked about taking some sort of course with Vance, but that was supposed to be months, hell maybe even years from now.  

Now all Brian wanted was to have the same knowledge that Justin had.  “Brian,” he heard coming from behind him.  _‘Fuck, I don’t need this now.’_ Brian cursed.  Brian didn’t slow his step and Mikey came up beside him.  “I thought you weren’t going to be able to come out tonight.”

“Yeah, well everyone needs to eat, Mikey.” Brian continued on his way, hoping to lose Mikey.  The last thing he needed was for someone to come out of the shadows and have Mikey caught in the cross-fire.  Brian would never forgive himself if that happened.  “I’m only here to grab something then head back to the office.  I have to go out of town again for a while, so I have to finish getting things ready.”

Mikey placed his hand on Brian’s arm, halting the other man.  “What?” Mikey asked.  “You didn’t say anything about it before.  I just left you two hours ago.  When the hell did this come up?”

Brian ran his hand through his hair, trying to decide what lie he could tell his friend.  Before he could say anything however, his cell phone rang.  Holding up a hand to prevent any protests, Brian answered the call.  “Yes?”

“Don’t let anyone know that it’s me.” Came the voice.

“Where are you?” Brian asked, scanning the area around him.  “What the fuck is going on?”

“Just be quiet and listen.  I’m down one block in the alley behind the old parlour shop.  Just walk this way, and for fuck sake, Brian… loose Mikey.” The caller said as the call ended.

Brian looked around and began to make his way over toward the area.  Before he reached the alley, Brian turned to his best friend and took a deep breath.  “Look, Mikey, why don’t you go and save us a spot in the Diner.  I’ll be in shortly.”

“What?  Brian, what’s going on?  Who was that on the phone, and what the hell are you doing heading this way?  The Diner is back there.” stated gesturing to where they had just left.

“Mikey… please.  I can’t really explain now, but I will okay? Just head on in and I’ll be in soon.  You know that Anita doesn’t really like a crowd.” Brian lied.  He only hoped that his friend would believe him.  Brian turned and continued to walk toward the alley, and headed down it.  Soon a hand came out and pulled him into a small room off to his left.  Turning quickly, Brian tried to fight off his attacker when he suddenly realized who it was.  “Jesus, trying to give me a heart-attack?  What the fuck are YOU doing here?”

The young man smiled, and shrugged.  “Who better to know where to find you than  me?  I used to live here, you know.  I used to hang out here.  Who better than I to get the four of you out of here safely?”

“Four?” Brian asked.  

The world stopped for Brian however when he heard the door open and the voice of his best friend bouncing off the walls.  “What the fuck!?”

“Shit!” Brian cursed.  Seeing the gun instantly in Justin’s hand, Brian stepped in front of his best friend.  “You can’t do this, Justin.  He doesn’t know.  You can’t.  Please.”

Justin looked at Brian briefly, and shook his head.  “You know what I have to do, Brian.  He knows I’m alive… you know what that means.  He won’t keep it a secret… you know that.  I have to do this.”

“What?  What are you talking about?  How can you be alive?” Mikey asked.  He was scared, more scared than he had ever been in his life.  He never thought he would see Justin again… and he definitely wasn’t prepared to have Justin alive and pointing a gun at him.  

“Justin… Please,” Brian begged.

Justin closed his eyes, and lowered his gun.  “For you… and only you.  I never did like him.” Justin told Brian.  “But his life is now in your hands.  We’ll see what we can do.  But you know what this means.”  Brian only nodded, knowing that Mikey’s life had just changed forever.  If only Mikey had done what he had asked him to.  Brian watched as Justin walked over to Mikey and stood between the man and the door, blocking Mikey’s backward movement to get out.  "You should have just stayed out of it.  Now... well now you will know why you were kept in the dark.  I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too.  But this is the way it has to be." Brian said to his best friend.  “You have to come with us, Mikey.  There’s no other way.  You’re life is now in danger, and we can’t trust you to keep it a secret.”

“What?  Is that what this is about?  You lied to us about him being dead, and you’ve kept him hidden from us?  Is that all?”  Mikey asked.  He was so confused, he didn’t know what to make of anything anymore.  “I’ll keep it a secret.  I promise.” He swore.  He didn’t like what he was seeing, and hearing the words his best friend was telling him made him even more scared.

Brian shook his head in sympathy.  “I’m sorry Mikey.  I really am, but there’s no other way.  It’s not about Justin and I… it’s so much more.  SO much more.  I promise, I’ll explain everything later.  But we can’t stay here.”

Justin looked down at his watch and nodded to Brian.  “We have to get moving.  We have only 18 minutes to get Mr. Jones and get the hell out of town.  Now, Brian.  Grab Mikey and let’s go.”  Justin opened the door and ushered the two men out of the room.  Quickly he rushed them to a black Section van down the street, and pushed them in.  Settling into the driver’s seat, Justin quickly made his way toward Vanguard as Brian tried to briefly explain what was going on to Mikey.  Justin couldn’t believe that things had turned out so badly already.  It was supposed to be a quick retrieval mission and protection for the heads… but now… now Mikey had to butt in where it didn’t belong.  Justin wished that he could cancel Mikey if only for that reason.  He had just compromised the mission and nothing could get him out of it all now.  

Justin pulled the van into the underground parking garage, and parked down a little ways from the door.  Close enough for a quick exit, but not close enough to arouse suspicion.  Justin climbed into the back of the van and opened up a small compartment in the floor.  Pulling out a couple of guns, he handed one to Brian.  “It’s a tranquilizer gun.  Just shoot anyone who gets in our way… they’ll wake up in a couple of hours and not know a thing.”  Glancing up at their unexpected companion, Justin held out a gun.  “Ever fire one before?”

“Ahh.. um. No.” Mikey said, letting his fear show.  

Justin knew that he couldn’t trust Mikey alone in the van, and he also knew that Brian wouldn’t let him knock the man out, he just placed the gun into his jeans and covered it with his jacket.  “Okay, just stick by Brian.  Don’t lose sight of him.  Don’t try to run, or I will shoot you, and my gun doesn’t shoot tranquilizers.” Justin warned the other man.  “Let’s go,” he stated as he opened up the door.  As the three men began to walk toward the entryway, Justin quietly explained some things to the other two.  “Just do as I say, don’t go off profile.  And don’t say a word unless directed.  Follow those steps and we’ll all make it out of this in one piece.”  

As they reached the guard shack, Justin immediately knew that this mission had taken another ugly turn.  Swearing under his breath, he opened the door and ushered the men into the stairway – making sure that it was clear.  “One more thing… keep your fucking head down.”  Justin turned toward Brian, and shrugged slightly.  “Keep Mikey close to you.  They have already arrived, and I don’t know what will be waiting for us up there.  Stay down, don’t make any sudden moves.  I’ll go first.  Just watch my back.” he said as he began up the stairs with the other two following close behind.  

Once they reached the floor that held the advertising agency, the three men made it over toward the receptions desk.  Luckily the receptionist was still alive, and that gave Justin some hope that all was not lost.  “Hello, Mr. Kinney.  I didn’t think I would see you back so soon.”

Brian smiled at the young woman, and shrugged.  “Yeah well.  I ran into some friends downstairs and I figured that I would give them a quick tour without all the crazy nonsense that goes on here during the day.”  He told her giving her his best smile.  

“Yeah, I guess things here will be busy the next couple of days.  Is something big going on?  Some big client that I don’t know about yet?” She asked as she began to pull out a couple of visitor badges.

“Why do you say that?” Brian asked.

“Well there are a lot of cleaning people around here tonight.  I just figured that you must be getting ready for a big meeting.”  She didn’t catch the look that passed between Brian and Justin, only handed the men the badges and let them through.  Before the men got to the door, Brian turned back to her and told her to just take the rest of the night off.  If Vance had a problem he’d deal with it.  She was thrilled at having the night off and quickly left before the partner could change his mind.  

Once they cleared the door, Justin directed the other two men to get as close to the wall as they could.  Slowly they made their way toward where Brian had last seen Mr. Jones, looking for anyone who shouldn’t be there.  They passed by some dead bodies, and it took everything that both Brian and Justin had to keep Mikey from crying out.  Once they reached Brian’s office, Justin squatted down so that they couldn’t be seen through the glass.  He glanced around the corner and spotted Cynthia hiding behind her desk, still very much alive – with gun in hand.  

Justin began using hand signals with her, trying to get an understanding of what he was about to face.  It seemed that Vance was being held up in Brian’s office, waiting for the other partner to arrive.  There were three in the room, and Cynthia had no idea how many others may be lurking around.  Justin turned toward Brian and Mikey, and talked in a hushed voice – not wanting to give anything to the men in the room.  “Okay, Mikey.. I want you to go with Cynthia.  Do what she tells you, and be careful.”  Turning to Brian, Justin pulled out two guns from their holsters, and one from behind his back.  Handing the gun to Brian, Justin nodded.  “Just cover me.  I want you to go over to where Cynthia is… the two of you will trade places.  Just keep an eye out for anyone coming.  I’ll go get Mr. Jones.”  Looking at the two men, and seeing that they were in agreement he turned back to Cynthia to tell her.

Counting down, everything began to change.  Within a couple seconds, Brian was over behind the desk and Cynthia was grabbing Mikey’s hand and moving toward a room right beside the entrance into Vanguard.  Justin took one last look over at Brian and caught the _‘Be careful’_ that he had mouthed at him.  Justin only winked and moved over to the other wall.  Taking a deep breath and clearing his mind, Justin stood and jumped through the glass window shooting at the three men in the room.  It only took seconds – but what seemed like hours to Brian – for Justin to have secured the room.  “Mr. Jones, I think it’s time we got you out of here.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Vance said as he stood and followed the young Operative out of the room.  Once they got to the room that Cynthia and Mikey were hidden in, the five quickly made their way back down toward the awaiting van.  “My assistant was killed instantly.  Evidently they first checked my office, and when they saw I wasn’t there… well, you can see how that turned out.”

“Not a problem.”  Justin quickly pulled out his cell phone – his only way to contact his people – and quickly dialled a number.  “Housekeeping.” He said then hung up.  That was all he had to say as he lead them down the stairs.  He’d let their people deal with the clean-up, and the dead bodies… he had more important things to do than fuck with it.  Besides it was never his job, one for which he was eternally grateful.  It was one thing to shoot someone… but it was something entirely different to have it confirmed that you had killed them.  Justin knew that he wouldn’t be able to handle that much death… especially how many bodies that they could, and have left behind.

Everything looked quiet as they made their way down the stairs, but Justin knew that it wouldn’t last.  Collective Operatives would be waiting for them in the garage, and Justin only hoped that they would all be able to make it through a gun-fight.  “Okay… Mr. Jones, Mikey and Brian, once I open the door I want you to head toward the van and get it started.” Justin said as he tossed the keys to Brian.  “Cynthia and I will cover your back.  If one of us goes down, don’t wait, just go.  The directions are in a small PDA under the driver’s seat.  Brian, you know the password.  Get that and get to the hideout.  Don’t wait for us.”

Without waiting for a reply, which he knew would come, Justin put his hand on the door handle.  “Now.” he told them as he opened the door and began shooting.  Once the door opened shots rang out in the garage from all directions.  With Cynthia and Justin covering the others, Brian quickly opened the back and pushed Mikey and Vance into it and jumped in.  He crawled up to the front of the van and started it.  He looked up in time to see Justin take a hit, as Cynthia jumped into the van.  Justin quickly got into the passenger seat, and turned to Brian.  “GO!”

Brian didn’t wait for anything else, put the car in drive and slammed on the gas.  Justin stuck his head out the window and continued to shoot at the operatives, clearing a path for them.  Brian closed his eyes as he rammed the van into a car that was blocking the exit.  He would hate to have to deal with the repair bill on this damn vehicle.  

Once they were clear of the building, and on their way out of town, Brian stole a look over toward Justin.  What he saw made his heart stop in his chest.  Justin was leaning back in the seat, head tilted back and eyes closed.  “Justin!” Brian cried out.  “Cynthia we need a medical kit, something… Justin’s hurt.”

Justin didn’t even bother to open his eyes, only shook his head slightly.  “Just keep driving.  I’ll get fixed up when we get to the hideout.  It’s not that bad.  Just don’t stop.  The further away from here we can get the better.”  Brian didn’t believe the young man, but he reluctantly agreed.  All he wanted to do was get Justin to a hospital, and have him checked out.  Brian wouldn’t be happy until he knew for sure that Justin was okay.

He was also worried about Mikey who was sitting silently in the back.  He knew that this must be hard on his friend, but he had tried to keep Mikey out of it.  “What are we going to tell Deb and the others?” Brian asked suddenly realizing what Mikey’s sudden disappearance would do to their friends.  He knew that they wouldn’t mind him leaving without so much as a word – he’d done it enough times… but with Mikey they would get suspicious.  

Justin carefully reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell.  Handing it to Brian, he quickly came up with a cover.  “Call them… tell them that you had to go away to a meeting in New York… Explain to them that … that you couldn’t get a flight out so Mikey… offered to drive you… you both need to keep the story straight… We’ll make sure that everything is legit… but you can’t waiver… Tell them that you will call them in a couple of days… You don’t know when it will be over… but you’re going to show Mikey the town… help him get some hot publisher for… for his comic… something like that.” Justin said through the pain he was feeling.  

Brian took the phone from Justin and did as he instructed, always keeping one eye on the blond.  He talked for a couple of minutes and handed the phone to Mikey, giving the man a look that told him to NOT go against what he just said.  Luckily, Mikey did as he was told, and Brian ended the call.  Taking a deep breath, Brian prayed that everything would work out.  Once they got to this hideout, first order of business was getting Justin fixed up.

Then he had to deal with Mikey.  He had a lot of explaining to do.  He just hoped that Vance would be considerate.

* * * * * * * * *

Three hours later after going around in circles in order to lose any followers, Brian put the van in park in front of a rather large cabin.  He wondered briefly who owned the place, or if it was the Centers.  Justin slowly opened his door and climbed out.  Brian had been worried about Justin during the entire trip, but the young man had constantly told him that he was fine and that he would get himself fixed up once they had reached their destination.  Brian knew that Justin was in pain, and he ached to hold the young man.  Quickly he got out of the van and was beside Justin in an instant.  Upon opening the door, Justin headed over toward the kitchen, and began to remove his jacket.  

Cynthia came in with the medical kit and sat down in one of the chairs pulling out everything she would need.  When Justin removed his shirt, Brian was shocked to see the extent of the injuries to his young lover and wondered how the hell Justin was still standing.  The open wound on his left shoulder was still bleeding, as was the one on his right forearm.  Now in the light, Brian could see blood covering Justin’s arm and hand, and that the young man was walking with a slight limp.  “Jesus.” Brian breathed.  

Justin sat down in one of the chairs carefully and placed his gun on top of the table.  “I need to close the wounds.” Justin explained as he began to pull the clips out of one of the guns and set it on the table.  Looking up at Brian Justin reached over and handed Brian two pair of pliers.  “Open the bullet casings and put the powder in the paper.” He explained.  

Mikey came up behind Brian and just stood there watching.  “What are you doing?” He asked.

Justin looked up at the man briefly then turned his attention back toward the table, watching as the gunpowder was being emptied into the paper.  “The wounds… they need to be cauterized.  And the best way to do that is to use this.” He said pointing to the table.  Without another word, Justin poured some of the power onto the open wound on his forearm.  Taking a match out of Cynthia’s hand, he light it and placed it on the wound.  Immediately the gunpowder ignited and caught fire sealing the wound.  Justin cried out in pain and placed his head on the table, trying to calm his breathing and detach himself from the pain cursing through his veins.  

“Fuck!” Someone cried out, but Justin couldn’t tell for sure who it was.  It sounded like both Brian and Mikey, but he wasn’t sure.  He could hear people talking through a haze that had enveloped him, but he concentrated on NOT passing out instead of what was being said.  He felt Cynthia begin to wrap the wound in gauze, and a light hand being placed on the back of his neck.  “Justin?”

Taking one last deep breath, Justin sat up in the chair after having successfully detached himself from his injuries.  It was something that he had learned a long time ago.  It was something that Madeline had trained him to do, and each time he was shot and injured he was grateful for that training.  No matter what he thought of Madeline and what evil deeds she had done to him, Justin knew that he did owe her a great deal for his survival.  Between what he had learned from both Madeline and Mikey, Justin knew what he had to know in order to make it through anything.  He only wished that he didn’t need it.  “I’m fine.” he said almost automatically.  It had become a standard response for almost all Operatives.  He slowly and carefully began to move his left arm, trying to see if he could feel the bullet that was still lodged in his shoulder.  Not feeling anything other than the ‘standard’ pain that was associated with this type of injury, Justin decided that they could worry about removing the bullet another time.  

Reaching down he ripped his pant leg open and looked at the reason why he couldn’t walk.  A large hole appeared on his right thigh, and Justin poured the remainder of the gunpowder into the wound, setting it on fire.  Once his wounds were cauterized and dressed, Justin stood carefully from his chair.  Brian moved beside him, helping him up.  “I need to lay down for a while… rest.”  Glancing down at his watch, he quickly determined how much time he had before he had to check in.  He turned toward Cynthia, knowing that if anyone would follow his directions and ignore the need to let him sleep it would be her.  “The parameter alarm is under the stairs… make sure it’s activated… Make sure I’m awake in three and a half hours… I will need to check in then.”  Seeing her agree and move off to the stairwell, Justin allowed Brian to help him through the kitchen.  Before they could reach the stairs leading up to the bedroom, Justin stopped their movement.  “Couch.” he said turning around toward the spacious living room. 

After having set Justin down on the couch, Brian kneeled in front of his lover and placed a blanket over him.  “You going to make it,” he joked even though he felt nothing but fear.  Justin only nodded closing his eyes.  “What can we do?”

“Tell Mikey what he’s up against,” Justin told Brian.  “Tell him everything he needs to know.  I’ll be fine.”

Brian watched as Justin closed his eyes to sleep, wishing that there were something that he could do to help his lover, but knowing that there was nothing for him to do.  Turning around he saw the pale face of Mikey, and he knew that he most likely didn’t look any better.  Watching Justin purposely hurt himself, setting himself on fire in essence, had been something that Brian never wanted to see again.  

He turned toward Mikey and Vance and sat down in a chair on the other side of the living room.  The last thing he wanted was to wake Justin up if things got a little loud.  Vance, luckily had already started explaining the whole thing to Mikey and what it all entailed.  “So, since you are Brian’s friend… and with the current situation, I am willing to offer you a deal.”

“Deal?” Mikey asked, more than a little shocked at what he had been told.  Terrorists, secret agencies, Center… Brian, Justin… Justin wasn’t dead, but alive and working for these people.  Brian was working for these people.  Everything just seemed so strange, like something out of one of his comic books.  

Vance nodded.  “Yes.  The same deal as I offered Brian when he found out… well with one added part that is.  Different situation, different times you can say.”  Vance leaned back in his chair and took the glass of wine that Cynthia had brought the men.  “Thank-you, darling.  I knew there was a reason why I kept you around.”

“Please, you kept me around because no one else can put up with both you AND Brian.  No one else can do emergency field medical treatment.”  She said with a smile and returned toward the room behind the stairs.  

“She’s quite right… of course it also helps that she is a nice little specimen.” Vance said raising his eyebrows.  Seeing that the two men before him didn’t feel the same way, Vance shook his head.  “I would get stuck in a house with three gay men… I guess that leaves Ms. Morgan for me.”  
  


“Don’t count on it, Mr. Jones.” Came the call from the back of the house.

“Don’t you just hate listening devices?”  Shaking his head, Vance realized that he should get down to business.  “Anyway, as I was saying.  The deal.  You can do one of three options… there is nothing else.  First you can join us at the Center… work as a liaison of sorts, I’m sure we could find something you could do. Second choice, is that you get to go home… without any knowledge of what has happened here.  Nothing.  You will have the days removed from your memory and new ‘memory’ planted.  You will be free from this life.  Of course if we see that the transplant is not working then we will have to take other measures but we wont’ get into that now.”

Brian watched as Mikey turned even whiter.  Knowing what the ‘other measures’ were, Brian bit his lip in order to keep from screaming out.  He hated that his friend was put in this position, but there was nothing he could do now.  “And the last option?” Brian asked.

“Well the last option is that we bring you in… as an Operative.”

“Hell no!” Brian yelled.  “Mikey wouldn’t survive in Section.  You can’t do that.”

Vance looked over at Brian and shrugged.  “The choice is his, Brian.  Not yours.  Those are the choices.  He showed up where he should not have been.  He saw a person who is supposed to have been ‘dead’.  Normally we would cancel him on the spot.  At least that’s what Justin should have done.  But he didn’t.  SO now I am left with a possible security breach at a time when we really don’t need anymore.  I still have no idea how we got into this mess, but no matter what, I will do what needs to be done to ensure the safety of the people under me.  Plain and simple.”

Brian knew that Vance was right.  Turning to his friend he reached out and took Mikey’s hand in his own.  “Mikey?”

Mikey looked around as if he was coming out of a dream and shook his head.  “Um, can I think about it?”

Vance thought about it for a second, then turned toward Brian.  “You have until morning.  But let me inform you, Mr. Novotny that no matter what, one of those options will happen.  With or without your approval.  More than likely one of the last two.”  Standing, Vance left the two friends alone in the living room.

“Sorry, Mikey.  I never wanted you to know about this shit.” Brian explained hoping his friend would understand.

“How did you get involved?  How long has this been going on, Brian?” Mikey asked.

Brian rolled his lips into his mouth, then blew out a deep breath.  “I saw Justin in Paris.  It was just a coincidence.  He was on a mission that just happened to be at the same place I was at.  God, Mikey… seeing him again.  Fuck, it was just … I don’t know how to even begin to describe it.”  

“So you decided to do this?  Because of that blond twink?”

  
Brian laughed and shook his head.  “He’s hardly a twink anymore, Mikey.  I mean come on, look at him.” Brian said.  Turning his attention over to the sleeping Justin, Brian shook his head.  “The little shit took three fucking bullets and STILL was fighting.  I know I couldn’t do that.  He’s not the same person… I just found him again, Mikey.”

“You really care about him, huh?”

“Yeah, Mikey, I do.” Brian said.  “I almost died when we thought he was killed.  I didn’t want to go on.  Hell, I’ve been pretending to live since that damn day.  Now…” Brian let drop.  He didn’t really want to go into his feelings for Justin with Mikey.  If anything he wanted to talk them over with Justin first – well once he figured everything out himself.  Brian watched as Cynthia made her way into the room.  “So, when did you meet Justin?” He asked a little hurt that his own secretary knew.

Cynthia sat down in the chair that Vance had vacated earlier.  “My father was Center.  He worked with Adrian, and helped to create all of this.  So when I turned 18, I went into the business.  I wasn’t assigned to you to spy on you.” She told him, wanting Brian to know that he was never on their list, and that she didn’t betray him.  “I was supposed to spy on some other people in the office.  Anyway, remember about three years ago when I went on that vacation?  The same one in which you went through 5 interns in a week?”

Brian laughed slightly at that one.  “Which time was that?  You know I never could put up with them.”

Cynthia just shook her head, knowing what a bear Brian could be.  “Isn’t that the truth.  So anyway, I was gone for two weeks, and during that time I went to Section One for a refresher course.  See, I’m actually one of the Center’s Operatives.  We don’t get into near as much as the Section Ops… I’ve never even killed anyone before.  But we do know how.  When I was there, I met up with Justin.  I remembered him from the papers and stuff about the Prom.  We hit it off.  Talked about YOU.” She told Brian with a smile on her face.  “I’m glad that you two found each other again.  He seems a lot happier.”

Brian ran his hand through his hair.  “Yeah, if you call that happy.” He said with a nod over toward the sleeping Justin.  “What the hell did Walter call it… the zone?  He’s in full Section mode that … it scares the shit out of me.”

“Brian, I worked with Michael… not this one, Michael Samuel for years.  Justin is a lot like Mikey in so many ways, it’s frightening.  Trust me when I say, he looks happy.  You didn’t see him before.” Cynthia finished.  Turning toward Mikey she looked the man over.  “I hope that you make the right decision, Mr. Novotny.  I don’t want to see anyone get hurt, and if something happened to you, it would kill Brian.  You should have stayed out of it, but since we can’t turn back the clock… I hope you make the right decision.”

“Which one is that?” Mikey asked.  

“No one can tell you that.  The decision has to be yours.  Now if you both will excuse me, I need to start making something to eat.  Justin will need some food in his stomach if he’s going to get his strength back, and I only have thirty minutes to get it done.”  Cynthia stood and made her way toward the kitchen, leaving the two men to think about what life would now be like for them – and the decisions that had to be made.

Justin slowly opened his eyes, feeling the pain in his body.  Taking a deep breath, he began to try to release the pain before he went about his duties.  He wished that he could just go back in time… that he could just be a normal person.  _‘Right, Taylor.  There’s no use wishing for things that never will be.  This is your life now, and they are depending on YOU to keep them alive.’_   He thought to himself.  Knowing he couldn’t let the pain slow him down, he carefully sat up on the couch.

“The sleeping beauty awakens.” Brian said as he made his way over toward Justin.  “How you feeling?”

“Better.”  Looking over to the clock on the wall, Justin began to run everything over in his mind – trying to figure out how much time he had before check-in time.  He caught sight of a small bowl of soup and a sandwich sitting on the coffee table in front of him.  “Let me guess… Cynthia?”  
  


“Like I know how to cook.” Brian smirked.  
  


“Brian, I don’t think that even you can ruin a bowl of soup.” Justin said with a small smile.  Brian looked at Justin like he was crazy, which only made Justin laugh slightly.  “Okay, so maybe you could be the first.”  Sitting forward on the couch, Justin began to reach for the spoon.  “And here I thought I might finally get breakfast in bed.  I mean I’m hurt and all.”  He said with a small smile playing across his lips.

Brian shook his head.  “Right.  And here I thought you said you were fine.”

“Well … I am, for the most part.  I mean I’m still alive, that should count for something.” Justin joked.  He knew that Brian didn’t find it too funny, so he just shrugged his right shoulder.  “Oh well… maybe someday.  We all have to have dreams, right?”  Brian nodded in agreement.  “Well that will be mine.”

“Only you, Sunshine… only you.”  Brian reached over and grabbed the bowl and spoon from Justin’s hand.  Putting some soup on the spoon he lifted it up to Justin’s lips.  “I think this will be as close as you’ll ever come.”

“I can feed myself.” Justin stated as he swallowed the warm liquid.

“But you’re hurt.” Brian playfully whined.  

Justin could only shake his head and let his lover feed him.  He wasn’t about to argue the point with the man… not when he needed something to keep him grounded.  He needed to think of other things beside the pain for a while, and allowing Brian to feed him let the injuries rest for a while.  Once he was finished he looked at the clock again, and sighed.  Standing, Justin made his way over to a desk in the corner of the room.  Booting it up, he began to hook it up to a cell phone sitting beside it.  He quickly began to type in some information as Brian, Mikey, Vance and Cynthia joined him at the computer. 

 “What are you doing?” Mikey asked as they watched something appear on the laptop screen.  All that they could see were numbers quickly scrolling across.

Justin continued to type in some information before he answered the questions.  “I’m linking up to one of the DOD satellites, and encrypting the data.  This way we can link directly up to Section.  If anyone tries to trace the signal it’ll take them a while.  I’ve piggybacked my signal to one of the standard DOD signals… bouncing it all over the fucking place to provide more security.”

Mikey looked over at Brian for an explanation, but Brian just shrugged.  “In English?” Brian asked.

Justin took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.  “Simple explanation is that I’m getting a connection to Section so we can talk and not be caught.”

“Why didn’t you say so?” Mikey asked more than a little confused.  

Cynthia just laughed.  “He did.”  She placed her hand on Justin’s good shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze.  “You sounded like Birkoff right then.”

Justin closed his eyes in order to prevent that pain that always surges through his veins at the mention of his best friend.  “Yeah.  He taught me a lot.”  Suddenly a figure appeared, causing a small smile to cross Justin’s lips.  Birkoff may be dead, but his brother was proving himself as good of a friend. “Jason.”

“Hey, J.  Let me get Operations.  Hold one.” Jason said with a wink.  

Jason stepped a side from the screen and Nikita’s figure appeared.  “Justin.  I take it this means you made it in one piece?”

Justin nodded.  “Material is secure.  Just waiting for the word.”

“We’ll let you know as soon as we get more information.  Just keep the standard check-in times.  We’re trying to get everything set up, and make sure it’s secure.  You know what you need to do.” Nikita told him.  Justin nodded his head, letting the tall blonde know that he had received her hidden message.  “Help should be arriving within the next 36 hours.  We expect to hear from you at the set time.”

“How much?” Justin asked slightly nodding his head in the direction of the people behind him.  He was asking her how much he should tell everyone about the situation and what had happened that led to this.

“Use your best judgement.” Nikita said, giving him permission to tell them everything.  “And Justin… be safe.”

Justin only nodded and closed the communication link.  Justin sat there by the laptop for a minute, thinking about what Nikita had told him – or in reality had not verbally told him.  “I should be there.” Justin quietly said.  He wished he was there with his team, not in some backwater place babysitting.  The only thing that made this trip worth-wild was Brian.  But it still didn’t end the ache he felt knowing his friends… his current family were there fighting and dying without him.  Shaking his head in order to clear his mind of those thoughts, Justin turned toward the others standing around.  “Have a seat.  I’ll answer any questions you have.”

* * * * * * * * *

“Well, I for one would like to know what happened?  Nothing in the reports I received stated that there was even a possibility that this could happen.” Vance stated as he sat down in one of the chairs.

Justin took a deep breath, and moved the computer chair so he could watch everyone in the room.  “It started off with little things… Timing on missions would be off a fraction of a second; innocents would be caught in the crossfire.  We started to look into the possibility of a leak somewhere in Section.  Nikita, Michael, Jason and myself were working around the clock trying to find something.”  Justin leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees and closed his eyes.  “Then China happened.”

Mikey looked over at the others trying to see what happened in China.  Vance shook his head, while Brian and Cynthia seemed just as confused as he was.  “What happened in China?”

“Yeah, I’d like to hear that as well.” Brian stated as he looked over at Vance, wondering what his partner was keeping from him.

Justin rolled his lips into his mouth and rolled his eyes.  He would never figure out how the Center works, and didn’t think he wanted to.  Nikita knew everything… that was the only way that the Section could function.  “Basically, it was supposed to be a simple Intel mission.  Go in, get the information we needed and get out.  The building we were in held a school and day care.  We weren’t going to do anything.”  Taking a deep breath, he looked directly at Brian as he decided how best to describe it.  “I’m sure you heard about the sudden explosion in China that killed over 250 people, over 100 of them children?”  Justin caught the shocked looks from both Brian and Michael and knew that they had seen the report.  “Well from what we were able to gather, the Collective had been using that place as a hideout.  They were hiding out in the lower levels, doing money and arms transfers there.”

“Fuck.” Brian cursed shaking his head in disgust.  He would never understand these terrorists as long as he lived – using children the way they do.

Justin only nodded and ran his hand over his face.  “We were caught off guard.  Hell, we’d only been in the damn building two minutes before it exploded.  We never had any warning.”

“How many Operatives did we lose?” Cynthia asked.

“Five members of Blue Team.” Justin informed her.  “It was a week later when everything became clear.  An explosion in one of our relays shut everything down.  By the time we got everything up and running again, it was already too late.  Jason had isolated the system, but someone had already stolen the Directory.  We never knew what hit us.”  Slowly Justin stood and walked over to the window and looked out.  “We had it narrowed down to two possibilities, and were making our move.  Operatives started to end up missing, only to be found dead or in pieces within hours.”  Justin closed his eyes, trying to stop the sudden pain that had coursed through his veins.  

It had been a frightening time for the Operatives.  No one knew who would disappear next.  Even trying to put everyone on Close Quarters Stand-by, and not letting anyone leave didn’t help.  After twelve hours, they had found out how serious it all was.  “We thought that it would be like the last time the Directory was stolen… you know someone would call looking for the highest bidder.  Nikita had us start to pack up so we could go to the Substation.  That’s when we received word that Section Four had been destroyed.”

Vance sat up further in his chair and looked at Justin.  “What?”

Justin nodded, not turning around to look at them.  The thought that an entire Section had been destroyed tore into him like nothing else.  He was somewhat grateful that Section Four was not as well manned as the others, and was only used for research purposes… but he knew that the threat was real and the information that they had lost would set them back years.  “They went right in and started killing everyone.  Luckily our team was able to dump most of the data… but very few got out of there alive.  We lost over 320 people.”

“Holy shit.” Mikey breathed.  The idea that that many lives had been lost in a short amount of time frightened him.  How could anyone do such a thing was beyond him.  “How?”

Justin shrugged a little.  “Between the gas they let out through the halls, and the killing as they made their way through the Section… those who were still alive didn’t survive the explosion.  Luckily our guys had been able to set the destruction sequence at the first sign of trouble, so we were able to take some of them out with us… but…” Justin let hang.  Everyone in the room knew what was left unsaid.  Although they had stopped the Collective from gaining full control over the Section, they had all still perished.  The loss of that many Operatives had set their cause back immensely.  It was something that they may never recover from completely.  “We immediately activated the emergency protocol and here we are.”

“Do we know who the traitor is?  How they got the information?” Vance asked.

“We had it narrowed down before China to two Operatives within Section One.  Crowder and London.  It appears that Crowder had met with Collective Agents secretly for a while.  What they offered him we haven’t been able to figure out yet, but we’re still working on it.  We have speculations, but nothing concrete.  Not that it really matters because Crowder is dead.  As soon as they got what they wanted, they killed him and dumped him in the sewers.” Justin informed them.    

Cynthia put her head in her hands and not to think of all the lives that were lost.  “What are our percentages?”

“So far we have accounted for 98% of all personnel.”  Justin stated as he turned around and moved over to the couch.  Justin saw Brian move over to him and felt a hand placed over his own.  “Nikita stated that back-up will be here within 36 hours.  I’ll need to head into town to get more supplies, and we need to figure out the sleeping arrangements.  It looks like we may be stuck here for a while.”

Cynthia nodded.  “We’ll handle the sleeping arrangements.  There are three bedrooms we can use, so I’m sure we can come up with something.  I’ll start on a list of supplies.” She stated as she stood and moved out of the room.

“One of us should go with you into town.  No point in taking any chances on traveling alone.” Vance reasoned.  Not that he was going to go there, but he also knew that Justin wouldn’t let him.  He was ‘too valuable’ to be placed in a situation like that.  

“How about you and I head out, that way Cynthia can make sure everything around here is set.” Brian stated.

“I’ll take Mikey with me.  I need you here.” Justin told his lover as he stood.  “Just let me get changed and we’ll head out.  Make sure that we have the list… figure out enough for at least two weeks.  Canned goods, things that won’t spoil… whatever.”  With that Justin left the three men alone in the room.  

Brian stood and followed Justin up the stairs and walked into the room his lover entered.  “How are you holding up?” He asked placing his hands on Justin’s shoulders.  They hadn’t had any time alone since this whole mess had started and Brian needed the connection with the man he loved so he knew for a fact that Justin was alive and well.  After he had seen Justin get shot, Brian had felt the urge to take his lover in his arms and never let him go.  The minute he saw the extent of those injuries, Brian knew that he never wanted Justin out of his sight.  He was too afraid that he would never see the blond again.

“Tired… sore.  Things have been crazy, Brian.  Half of the time it’s felt like we’ve been running around blind… never knowing what is going to happen next.” Justin confessed.  In honesty he was scared – a feeling that he hadn’t felt in years.  The uncertainty of things… knowing that there was nothing he could do scared him.  “A part of me wishes that I was there, you know… with the others.  But… I know that I have to do this.  Mr. Jones needs to be protected.  I hate this.”

Brian moved closer to Justin and wrapped his arms around the young man’s waist.  With his chin resting on Justin’s good shoulder, Brian lightly kissed him on the neck.  “I know.  You were never one to run and hide.” He stated.  Brian knew that this would be killing Justin… that Justin felt he NEEDED to be with the others.  Brian was grateful however, that Justin wasn’t with the others… that the man was here with him.  “It will all work out, Justin.  I believe that.  It has to.”

Justin nodded and leaned back against Brian.  “I’m just ready for all this shit to be over.  I mean, my life may not be the best but this is the third time something like this has happened in the past couple of years.  It’s getting a little redundant.” Justin said with a little laugh.  “You’d think we’d get a break every now and then.”

“Yeah, right.  Like that would happen.” Brian whispered in Justin’s ear.  He was enjoying the feeling of having Justin close to him, holding him in his arms.  He only wished that they could do more, but now unfortunately, was not the time.

Justin turned around in Brian’s arms and placed a hand on Brian’s cheek.  “I missed you.” He told Brian before he leaned in and kissed the man on the lips.  Opening his mouth, he allowed Brian’s tongue to dive deep between his lips, deepening the kiss.  Pulling away to catch his breath, Justin laid his head on Brian’s shoulder.  “God, I’ve missed this.”

Brian kissed the flesh behind Justin’s ear, and pulled the man closer to his body.  “You’re not the only one.  And if we had more time, I’d fuck you within an inch of your life.”

Justin laughed and pulled back.  “Later.  I promise.” He said kissing Brian lightly one last time.  “I need to change so I can grab Mikey and be back within two hours.  I don’t want to leave you guys unprotected too long.”

“We’ll be fine, Justin.” Brian told the young man.  Sitting down on the bed, Brian watched as Justin moved over toward the closet and began to change.  “So who’s place is this?” 

Justin turned slightly and smiled over at Brian’s.  “Mine.”  He caught Brian’s surprised look and laughed.  “I was on a mission a couple of years back, and spotted this place during recon.  I knew I had to have it.  It was close to you… I felt like I was home.  The only other person who knows about this place is Michael… well and Nikita.  It’s not listed in any of the records, so it’s safe.  I needed that.  I needed a place that I could come on my down-time… without all the shit, you know?”

“You’ve been this close to me and I never knew it?” Brian asked shaking his head.  “Fuck!  If I’d known…”

“I know, Brian.  I went there a couple of times, trying to get a glimpse.  I had to see you, even if it was only from a distance.”  Justin told his lover as he pulled a shirt over his head.  Hissing slightly in the sudden movement, Justin closed his eyes again and took a deep breath.  “I hate getting shot.”

Brian stood and walked over to Justin, turning the young man around so he could look him in the eye.  “I hate you getting shot, too.  I was fucking scared.  When I saw…” He began, stopping when his emotions caught in his throat.

Justin ran his hand lightly over Brian’s cheek, and looked him in the eye.  “I know, Bri.  I know.  But I am okay… I’ll live.  I promised you I’d try and be careful… try to stay alive for you.  I haven’t broken that promise.  I’ll do everything I can to try and make it back alive every time.  I definitely won’t die right in front of you.  No matter what, I couldn’t do that to you… not again.”  He said referring to the night of the Prom.

“You keep that promise, Sunshine.” Brian said.  “I can’t lose you again.  I can’t.”

Justin nodded and kissed Brian again.  “I better get back down there, and head to town.  The sooner I get there and back, the sooner we can eat.”

Brian smiled as he leaned his forehead against Justin’s.  “Always thinking with your stomach.” He laughed.

“Not always.” Justin smiled.

* * * * * * * * *

Justin and Mikey walked through the small grocery store, buying everything that they needed for a couple of weeks.  The two didn’t talk much on the way into town, but Justin preferred it that way.  He didn’t know what to say to the man.  Hell, he never even really liked Mikey.  “So,” Mikey began.  “You and Brian…”

“We’re together.” Justin stated, not wanting to try and explain his relationship with Brian to anyone… especially NOT Mikey.  Justin knew that Mikey was always jealous of his relationship with Brian, and the last thing Justin needed was an argument.  He had enough on his mind.  “And I’m not discussing it with you.  It’s between Brian and I… no one else.”

Mikey nodded and continued to push the cart behind Justin.  “I was just trying to make conversation.  I mean it’s not like we can talk about…”

“Don’t!” Justin said placing a halt to whatever Mikey was about to say.  “That topic is NOT up for discussion… not here.”  Justin watched as Mikey slowly nodded before he continued to move through the aisles.  “So, I hear that you and Mel had a baby.” He said with a smile.  The thought of Mikey having a kid was humorous to Justin.  The thought of another person out there like him… it was enough to scare anyone.

“How did?  Brian..” Mikey answered for himself.

“Actually no… but nice guess.  I have ways of keeping track of what’s going on with everyone, Mikey.  Even though I’m not there, I try and make sure everyone is taken care of.”  Justin explained.  He wasn’t sure he wanted to get into the extent of what he had done, but he had a feeling that Mikey wouldn’t let it go.  So before the man could ask questions, Justin decided to give the man a glimpse of what he was still capable of doing.  “I’ve made sure that Deb’s house is paid for in full… she’ll find out that the money is waiting for her once she’s ‘paid in full’.  Gus’ college fund is just sitting there waiting for him.  You’re comic expenses have been paid for the next ten years… so you better keep coming up with ideas.” Justin said with a small smile.  He loved the idea that he had something over Mikey.  Something that Mikey didn’t know about.  

“The expenses?” Mikey began.  “You … you are the benefactor?”

“Yep… I wanted to make sure everyone was taken care of.  I do care, Mikey.  I never stopped.  I may not be around, but I will always make sure that my family is taken care of.  I didn’t abandon anyone… I wasn’t given a choice…” Justin began.  He stopped and took a deep breath before he let things out that he knew he couldn’t.  Mikey wouldn’t understand… hell, not many people would.  And this wasn’t the place to try and explain things.  “Never mind.  Let’s just say that I try and leave it at that.”

“No.  I can’t leave it at that.  What are you talking about?” Mikey asked, putting his hand on Justin’s arm and turning the young man toward him.  

Justin glared back at Mikey then cleared his face of all emotion.  “I’ll tell you all about it later.  Now is NOT the time.” Justin quietly and deadly told the man in front of him.  “Now let go of my arm so we can get this shit done.  I have a job to do.”  Justin turned around and continued to walk through the aisles like nothing was wrong, talking to people as he passed them.  

Mikey however, tried to rationalize what just happened.  One minute Justin looked like he was ready to kill him and the next he was happy and talkative.  Justin appeared to be two different people.  Neither one he recognized.  Mikey decided he would get his answers… he had to know everything.  The thing that he couldn’t get past was the fact that Brian was adamant that he couldn’t do the same thing that Justin does.  It hurt… more than he wanted to admit.

* * * * * * * * *

Justin came out of the room behind the stairs and spotted Brian lying on a large pillow by the fireplace reading a book.  Slowly he made his way over toward his lover, sat down and placed his gun beside the pillow.  “Everyone set for the night?” He asked Brian.

Brian set the book down and rolled over to his side so he could look at Justin.  “Everyone is in their room for the night.  Looks like it’s just you and me.”

Justin smiled and lay down beside Brian.  Turning and placing his hand on Brian’s hip, he moved closer to his lover.  “What ever shall we do?”

Brian ran his hand up Justin’s arm toward his head.  Running his fingers through the golden locks, he slowly pulled Justin’s lips toward his own.  “Oh I think we can come up with something.  Don’t you?”  Brian received his reply with a deep kiss.  Hands began to move across each other’s bodies, removing clothes – both wanting to be as close to each other as possible.  Pulling away slightly, Brian looked into Justin’s eyes, trying to gauge the man’s reaction – looking for any sign of pain that Justin may be experiencing.  The last thing that Brian wanted was to cause Justin any more pain that he was already in – he didn’t want to aggravate the injuries.  “Turn around.” Brian said.  Once Justin’s back was to him, Brian slid behind the young man and reached around and grabbed a small tube of lube and a condom.  “God, I missed you.” Brian breathed against Justin’s ear.  

“Brian.” Justin moaned as he felt the man begin to run a finger across his hole.  Although it had only been a month since they had been together, to Justin it felt like a lifetime.  This house had always made him feel safe, but with Brian there… Justin felt like he could do anything.  He felt safe and secure – most of all he felt loved, for the first time in years.  “Oh God.” he moaned when he felt one finger enter him, pushing through the ring of muscle – stretching him.  A second finger was added preparing him for the inevitable bliss he knew he would feel, and Justin pushed back slightly wanting more of the feeling that was coursing through his veins.  “Brian… please.  I need you.”

Brian removed his fingers, and kissed Justin’s neck when he heard his lover’s protest.  “Just a second, Sunshine.” He laughed, loving the man’s eagerness.  He ripped open the package and began to roll the condom over his hard cock.  He placed himself at Justin’s entrance and pulled Justin’s head toward him so he could kiss the lips that he had been dying to taste for a month  as he pushed into the hilt.  Both moaned into each other’s mouth, enjoying the feeling of being connected as their tongues began to trace the contours of their mouths.  Pulling away, Brian took a deep breath.  “God, you feel so fucking good.  I missed you.”  He said as he began to pull out then slammed back in.

“Oh God!” Justin cried out.  “More… uhhh… Fuck!”  Justin began to move back so he could meet Brian’s thrusts, wanting his lover as far into him as humanly possible.  Justin never wanted this feeling to end.  “Fuck!” he moaned as Brian hit his prostate.  Justin grabbed a hold of Brian’s hand and entwined their fingers, as Brian continued to taste his neck.  

Brian reached around Justin with his free hand and grabbed a hold of the young man’s cock.  He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer… it had been too long – but he wanted to make sure that he took Justin with him.  His strokes became shorter, pulling out a little then stabbing back in – hitting Justin’s prostate with every jab.  Brian felt Justin tighten around him as the young man let go.  Pushing in two more times, he let go – emptying his seed into the condom with a cry.  “Justin.” He breathed, pulling the man closer to him trying to calm his breathing.  Pulling a blanket he had placed nearby over their bodies, Brian just held onto his lover – never wanting to let go.  For the first time that day, Brian felt relaxed.  He had been worried about Justin since he saw the man get shot… now he knew that Justin was alive.  He never wanted to let go.

“This is nice.” Justin said, wrapping Brian’s arms around him.  “I wish we could stay here forever.”

“So do I.” Brian told him honestly.  

“I love you, Brian.  It’s the only thing that gets me through the day… the only thing that keeps me going.” Justin admitted.  “I wake up… and as long as I remember this… I know that I can make it.  I wouldn’t survive if something happened to you.”

Brian placed a light kiss on Justin’s right shoulder.  “Let’s hope that we never have to find out.  You do know, I feel the same way, don’t you?”  Brian felt the need deep within him to make sure that Justin knew how he felt.  He didn’t think that he could live with himself if Justin died without knowing.  The only problem was… Brian wasn’t sure if he could say the words.  He wanted to… but they seemed stuck in his throat.  “I… I don’t ever want to lose you again, Justin.  I couldn’t handle that again.  I need you.”

“I know, Brian.  I know that you love me, that’s never been an issue.  I’ve always known.” Justin told Brian, letting the man know that he knew what couldn’t be said.  “We’ll work it out… somehow.”

They both heard someone come down the stairs, so Brian slowly pulled out of his lover.  Both moaned at the loss, but knew that they were about to have company.  Looking over his shoulder, Brian spotted Mikey come down the stairs.  “What’s up?” He asked his friend once the man moved into the living room.

Mikey looked at the two men and turned his eyes away from the sight of them in each other’s arms.  Despite the fact that he had Ben, the thought that Brian was with Justin still caused him a pain in the heart as his old dreams and fantasies slowly died.  “I was wondering if you could answer some questions for me.  Vance… whoever he is, wants an answer and I think I should know everything.  I can’t make any decision without knowing.”

Justin moved out of Brian’s arms and slowly stood up.  “I think this will require something to drink.” He said as he began to move toward the kitchen.

“Justin.” Brian called out.  When he saw Justin turn toward him, he grabbed Justin’s pants and tossed them to the young man.  “For crying out loud, put your pants on.  We don’t need Mikey nervous.  He looks like he’s ready to pass out already.”

Justin rolled his eyes as he caught the pants.  “If I have to, then so do you.  It’s my home and if I want to walk around naked, I will.  So fair is fair.”  He laughed as he made his way into the kitchen to get some drinks for them.  

Brian shook his head and pulled on his pants.  “Kids now a days.  Can’t live with them… can’t live without them.”  He watched as Justin came back in the room.  Taking a glass from Justin and the bottle of JB, he pulled Justin back down on the pillow and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.  “Soooo, Mikey.  What do you want to know?  I can’t really explain much… I’m still new at this shit myself.”  He said as he began to pour the amber liquid into three glasses and handed one to both men.

Mikey looked down at the glass in his hand then up at his friend.  “What is it you do?  I mean… I thought you worked on Ads all day.”

Brian nodded and took a sip of his drink.  “I used to.  Now I sit behind a desk and go over numbers, statistics, personnel records.  Profiles after profiles… Fuck I’m learning more about terrorists then I ever thought I wanted to know.  Basically, I’m a liaison between the Center and Section One.  The plan is that I will go back and forth between the two… evaluate, assess.  Shit like that.”

Mikey nodded.  He wasn’t sure what all of that entailed but he seemed pleased with the answer.  _‘If that’s all it is, that would be easy.  I could do that.’_   He glanced back up at Brian, wanting to know the answer to the question that had been bugging him all day, but unsure if he should ask.  He decided that he needed to know, so he took a chance.  “Why did you tell Vance that I wouldn’t make it as an Operative?  You don’t know that for sure.  I could surprise you.”

Brian shook his head.  “You wouldn’t last, Mikey.  Hell, I wouldn’t last.”

“You don’t know that.” Mikey said in a raised voice.  “If Justin can do it then I think I could too.”

Justin leaned back against Brian and looked over at Mikey.  “You wouldn’t Mikey.  And I wouldn’t wish this life upon you.  I wouldn’t wish this life upon my worst enemy… and I would know.”

Brian stole a glance over at Justin.  “And how is dear ol’ Hobbs doing these days?” Brian said in barely controlled anger.  Brian caught the surprised look on Mikey’s face so he knew he would have to explain to his friend.  “Mr. Hobbs was brought in and Justin here gets the privilege – if you can call it that – of training the little fucker.  That was his ‘death’.” Brian explained.

“If he can get past his anger, I think he could be a good Operative.  He has the potential… I don’t know.  He might make it… he might not.  Only time will tell.” Justin informed them.  Looking up at Mikey, Justin took a deep breath.  “Mikey… I have seen murderers come in… people who have killed a lot of people.  I have seen the worst criminals you can imagine come in… and they have not lasted more than a couple of days.  I am nowhere near the same person I was over five years ago.  I’ve lost a huge part of myself… I’ve lost part of my soul.  That’s the only way that someone can survive there.  You have to separate yourself from everything… not give in to the pain and suffering that you see around you everyday.”

“And this tells you that I wouldn’t be able to do it?  You don’t even know me.” Mikey said defiantly.

“Mikey, listen to what he has to say first.” Brian stated, getting angry at his friend’s hostility toward Justin.  He had put up with it five years ago, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to deal with it now.

Justin made sure he had Mikey’s attention before he began to tell the man exactly what he could expect if he became an Operative.  Brian didn’t even know everything, but Justin knew that he had to tell everything in order to keep the man safe… if for no one else than Brian.  Brian wouldn’t survive if Mikey was placed within Section.  It would tear his lover apart on the inside, and Justin didn’t want Brian to suffer.  

Taking a deep breath, Justin moved away slightly from Brian.  He needed the distance, and he knew that Brian understood without too much complaint.  “Look, Mikey, when we say that you wouldn’t be able to handle it, we’re serious.  Do you honestly think that you could do what I do?  You’ve seen just a fraction of what I do yesterday.  The secrecy, the lies… the death, getting shot.  That’s nothing.  I have seen and done more in the past five years than most people do in their lifetime.  When I say that I have lost a part of my soul, I was not lying.  I had to.  The rate of people who survive more than five years is less than 40%.  The rate of people who survive the first two is even less.  That alone should tell you something.”  Justin tried to explain.  

“I could be one of the ones to make it.” Mikey stated.

Justin shook his head.  “Do you know how many people have been killed lately?  How many of our own people have died?  We lost almost 400 Operatives in a span of TWO days.  400!  Hell, even Walter who has been there since 1965 was almost killed.”

Brian quickly turned his attention to Justin.  “What?  What happened?  Is he alright?” he asked suddenly worried about the man who he had gotten close to during his time in the Section – the man who had been like a father to Justin. 

Justin rolled his lip into his mouth and nodded.  “They showed up at his place, like they did many others.  He didn’t see them.  If I hadn’t shown up when I did…” Taking a deep breath, trying to get the sight of Walter hurt and injured out of his head.  Justin had almost lost it.  “He’s in pain.  Gut wound.  He’ll be okay… it will just take a while.”

“Fuck.” Brian cursed.   

Justin nodded then turned his attention back to Mikey, changing the direction of the discussion – getting it back on track.  This wasn’t about who they had lost, or almost lost… this was about showing this man the truth of what he does… what the Section is about.  “Could you deal with killing someone?  And I’m not talking about someone with a gun… kill or be killed type situation.  I’m talking about an unarmed person.  Do you think you could shoot, kill someone by looking in their eyes – seeing the fear there?  Or shooting them in the back after promising them that no harm would come to them?” Justin asked.  “Do you think you could point a gun at someone’s lover, wife, child, and threaten the life of their loved ones if they don’t tell you what you want to know?  Could you follow through with that threat?  Kill an innocent child?  I have… on more than one occasion.”

Justin sat forward some more, wanting to make Mikey understand.  He hadn’t even reached the worst of things, and he could already see Mikey slightly pale.  “Do you know how many times I had to walk into a building, set the explosives and blow up a building KNOWING that there were innocent children inside?  What happened in China… we’ve done that ourselves.  We have done that.  I am responsible for thousands… hell hundreds of thousands of deaths.  If a mission fails, I’m responsible.  I am in charge of making sure that everything goes smoothly… cover all contingencies, make sure that the mission is a success.  If the mission fails, I fail.  What happened on 9-11… we knew that something was going to happen.  We didn’t know where, or when.  With Michael, and Jason.. we ran so many possibilities… nothing prepared us for that.  Everyone who died that day… is because we failed to do our job.  I failed.

“Every death that happens after a mission fails, or not discovering the location, is on me.  That is MY responsibility.  The responsibility of everyone in Section.  The numbers of people we have either killed by our own hand, or because we failed… they’re so high, I couldn’t even begin to guess.” Justin continued.  He could feel Brian try to reach toward him, but Justin couldn’t deal with that right now so he stood and walked over toward the fireplace.  Staring into the flames, Justin began to lose himself in the glow of the fire.  “I have been ordered to sleep with people… more people than I care to count.  Purposely destroying marriages, relationships… whatever.  I have watched friends walk out the door, never to return again.  You don’t make friends… you can’t.  Why set yourself up for the loss?  Why put yourself through that pain?”

Justin turned around and leaned against the mantel and looked at the two men sitting there staring at him.  “I have been ordered to be captured.  Just allow the enemy to take me, and do what they will with me.  I have been tortured more times that I can count.  Had every part of my body either broken, or injured.  Do you know what it feels like to be electrocuted?  To be exposed to such viruses as Anthrax?  I do.  I’ve been there.”

Shaking his head, Justin closed his eyes.  “I have been ordered to kill friends.  The thing about Section is that you don’t make mistakes.  One mistake, and you don’t have to worry about the enemy… you have to worry about us.  One mistake… and we will kill you ourselves.  Do you know what it’s like to know that there is a bullet with your name on it… just waiting to find its way home?  Not knowing if you’ll see your next sunrise?  And that isn’t even the beginning.”

Justin kneeled down so that he was eye to eye with Mikey.  He had to make the other man understand.  He had to make Mikey realize that his thoughts that he could do this were mistaken.  “Are you even comprehending what I’m telling you?  Do you honestly think that you could do that?  Could you live like that?  Everyone that you love will think that you are dead!  You can NEVER see them again.  Never contact them.  Do you know what could have happened to both you and Brian… what SHOULD have happened?”  Justin waited to see that he had Mikey’s attention before he continued.  “I should have put a bullet between your eyes.  That’s what I was supposed to do.  You would have been dead within twenty seconds.  No questions asked, and I would have felt nothing.  I wouldn’t allow myself.  No one is to know about us.  If you are ever compromised, you are dead… and the people who know are dead.  Your friends and family will be dead.  Do you want to have the thought that Deb, Vic, Em, Ted, Ben, and everyone else will die if you even try to see them… if they ever see you again?  Do you?”

Justin stood once again, and placed his glass on the mantel.  “I’m going to take a look around the perimeter.  Think about it, Mikey.  Think long and hard before you ever think that you can do what I do.”  With that Justin picked up his gun and walked out into the night.

Brian watched as Justin walked out the door, then turned toward Mikey.  “Fuck.” He said shaking his head.

“You didn’t know?” Mikey asked.

“Not all of it.  I read some of his profile… knew some shit, but …” he began.  Taking a deep breath, he took another long sip from his drink.  “Now do you realize why we say you wouldn’t make it as an Operative?  You see what it’s done to him… he’s not even close to being the same person anymore.  It’s changed him.”

Mikey nodded and turned to look at the door that Justin exited from.  “I noticed something at the store earlier… I thought… Well anyway, I saw it again here.  It’s like he has two personalities, you know?  Like when he was shot… what … how… Hell, I don’t even know what to say.”

Brian moved so he could put his hand on his friend’s arm.  “I noticed that too.  Walter… he’s been like a father to Justin there.  He’s a great guy.  Anyway, he said that Justin just detaches himself from everything.  He won’t let me touch him.. he won’t… It’s fucking scary, Mikey.  It’s really fucking scary.”

“I think… um… I think I’m going to lay down now.  I’ll see you in the morning.” Mikey said as he stood and walked back up the stairs to the bedroom.  

Brian lay back down on the pillow, and pulled out a cigarette waiting for Justin to return.  It was a half hour later, and on his fourth cigarette, when Justin finally came back in.  “Everything clear?” Brian asked as he put out his cigarette.  

“Yeah.” Justin answered as he moved back over to the pillow and laid down on it.  He reached up and ran his hands through his hair.  “I just need to think, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.  It’s okay.” Brian replied running his hand over Justin’s arm.

Justin turned toward the side and looked at his lover.  “Mikey okay?”

“He will be.  You did the right thing.” Brian saw Justin nod, then pulled the young man so his head rested on his chest.  “Come on… let’s get some sleep.”

“What’s that?” Justin lightly joked.  “I can’t even remember the last time I got more than an hours sleep.  It seems so long ago.”  Justin carefully placed his arm around Brian’s waist, and laid his leg on top of the man’s body.  “I really should stay up… keep an eye out.” He said through a yawn.

Brian began to run his hand across Justin’s back and lightly kissed the top of his lover’s head.  “Sleep.  If something happens the alarm will notify us.  You won’t do anyone any good if you’re exhausted.” Brian whispered.  He laid his head down on top of Justin’s and breathed in his lover’s scent.  “You’re safe… we’re safe.  There’s nothing to do now.”

“I feel safe…I don’t remember the last time I felt this.” Justin quietly said as he drifted off to sleep.  

Brian held Justin closer to his body, letting the young man know that he was there.  “I won’t let anything happen to you, Sunshine.  I’ll watch over you.  Just sleep now.  I’m here.” He whispered to his now sleeping lover.  “Everything will still be here when you wake up.  I love you and I’m not going to let you slip away.  I’m here.”  Somehow for Brian it was so much easier to tell his lover how he felt when the young man couldn’t hear him.  No matter how much he wanted Justin to know, he knew he couldn’t say the words to the man’s face.  He’d let his action show how much he cared and needed Justin.  That was all he could do.

And letting Justin feel safe, letting the young man know he was there for him, was what Brian could do.  No matter what, he would never allow Justin to feel anything but love from him.  He would be there to help the man through it all.  Closing his eyes, Brian allowed himself a couple of hours of sleep himself.  He wanted to be in top form for the day ahead.  He was going to stand by Justin’s side through all of this… of that there was no doubt in his mind.

* * * * * * * * *

As the sun began to come through the windows, Brian looked up at the stairs when he heard someone coming down.  Spotting Vance and Cynthia, he put his finger to his lips and nodded toward the still sleeping Justin.  “I do believe this is the first time I’ve actually seen him sleep.” Vance quietly stated as he turned toward the kitchen.  

Cynthia looked down at the blond, and let out a breath.  “We’ll need to change those bandages, and get some food in him.” She told her boss.  She saw Brian nod his head.  “I’ll start breakfast while you wake him.  Then we’ll change those wrappings.” She stated over her shoulder.

“Justin.” Brian whispered against the blond’s head.  

“I heard.” Justin mumbled against Brian’s chest.  “I’ve been awake since you were … I just didn’t want to get up.” He laughed lightly.

“Ohh I see how you are.  We could’ve been doing something else, and here, you let me believe that you were still asleep?” Brian pretended to be hurt.  

Justin raised his head from his spot on Brian’s chest and smiled.  “I knew they were awake.  I heard them moving around up there.  I figured that there would be no point in starting something and being interrupted.”  Seeing Brian’s pout, Justin shook his head and kissed his lover fully on the lips.  “It won’t work.  I promise… later tonight… you’re all mine.”

“Damn right you are.” Brian purposely said.  “You’re all mine.”

“Brat.” Justin said as he sat up.  “Fuck, I’m stiff.”  When Justin felt Brian’s hand move toward his crotch, Justin swatted the hand away.  “Not that.  Later, I promise.”

“Fuck!” Brian cursed as he fell back on the pillow.  “You’re killing me here, you know that don’t you?”  Pointing down to his morning wood, he glanced at Justin.  “And how am I to get rid of this?”

Justin leaned back down and kissed Brian again.  “That’s what showers are for.  Or have you forgotten that?”  Justin saw the evil gleam in Brian’s eyes, and the raised eyebrow.  “Nympho.” He said, moving away to stand up.  “I promise after breakfast… I’ll wash your back for you.”  Turning to face Cynthia who had just come into the room, Justin spread his arms out.  “I’m all yours.  Do with me what you will.”

“Oh, I could get used to this.” Cynthia said with a big smile, her eyes roaming up and down Justin’s body.

“Hey… don’t touch.” Brian commanded as he sat up.  “He’s gay, remember.  No snatch allowed.”

Justin could only shrug as he sat down in a chair and waited for Cynthia to clean his wounds.  He heard Mikey come down the stairs. “Morning, Mikey.  Sleep well?” He asked, wondering if anything he had said to the man the night before had sunk in.  He hoped so for everyone’s sake.  Mikey wouldn’t last two days inside Section, and the last thing that Justin wanted was for Brian to feel guilty over it.  

Mikey sat down on the couch and smiled at Brian.  “Not too bad, I guess.”  He sat there and watched as Cynthia removed the old, bloody bandage on Justin’s shoulder and began to apply and new one.  “Doesn’t that hurt?”

Justin glanced over at Mikey.  “Not really.  I guess I’m immune to it now.  Bullets don’t faze me anymore.  I’ve had a hell of a lot worse, so this is nothing.” He told the man honestly.  “I think the only thing that bothers me is that I’m a little stiff, and I hate walking with a limp.  Once I get back to Section, they’ll fix it right up… remove any scars.  I’ll be good as new in no time.  It’ll be like this never happened.  So I don’t really see a point in worrying about it, I guess.”

“Jesus.” Mikey said shaking his head.  He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  “How many times have you been shot?”

“I don’t know… a couple hundred maybe.  I remember the first time I was shot.  I had been out of the medical wing four weeks.” Justin said thinking back to those days.  He had just gotten the ‘okay’ after the wounds from the bashing, his right hand almost useless.  He had spent most of that day with Madeline, going over what she required of him… what he could expect.  Justin could tell that Madeline was evaluating him, analyzing him.  “Madeline pulled out a gun from her desk and shot me in the leg.  She told me to remember that pain, to control it, so I could learn to separate myself from the pain.  She went on to tell me that that was the first of many, so I should learn my lesson quick.  Fuck, I was so pissed at her, that I didn’t even realize I had been shot at first.  I learned that lesson, real quick.”

“I’m so glad I never got to meet that bitch.” Brian said, hating everything he had ever heard about the woman.  

“She was okay at times.  She just wanted what was best for the Section… no matter the cost.”  Justin told them.  “She had her good moments.  Don’t get me wrong… I didn’t like her.  I hated her for the most part…for what she did to me, to Nikita… to Michael.  But I did respect her.  Her and Operations.  I don’t know if I could have made the decisions they made any differently.”

Cynthia moved toward Justin’s forearm, and began to remove the bandages there.  “I remember meeting them… I know what you mean about respecting them, but hating them at the same time.  I was shocked to hear that Madeline killed herself, but not really surprised.  She seemed like the person who would have ended her life instead of letting someone else do it.  What shocked me the most however, was what Paul did?”

“Yeah… I didn’t think he would do that.  Give his life to save Michael’s child.  Of course he always thought of Michael as a son.  Did you know that?” Justin asked.  “He did.  He cared about all of us… he just had a problem of showing it.”

“You can say that again.”  Cynthia handed Justin the material for his leg, and moved away.  “All set.  All you have left to do is your leg.  Breakfast should be ready, now. So whenever you’re ready.”

“Thanks, Cyn.” Brian said.  He stole a glance at Mikey, wondering if the man had come up with a decision.  Deciding that there was nothing he could do for the man, he turned toward Justin.  “Hungry?”

“Yeah.  I need to check in in an hour, so we may have to wait for that shower.” Justin said with raised eyebrows.  Seeing Brian shrug, Justin stood carefully and placed the medical box down on the floor.  The three men headed into the kitchen, and Justin pulled out more plates from the cupboard and pulled out the guava juice from the fridge.  Handing a cup to Brian he filled a glass for himself and sat down.  “Buffet fit for a king.” Justin commented, praising Cynthia’s cooking abilities.  “Maybe between the two of us, we might not starve.”

“Twat.” Brian said.

“Yes, fine breakfast, Cynthia.” Vance stated.  Picking up his cup of coffee, he glanced over at Mikey.  “So Mr. Novotny… have you thought about what we were talking about yesterday?”

“Jesus, Vance.  Can’t you fucking wait until we at least eat?” Brian cursed.

“On the contrary… the sooner we get this little bit of business done the sooner we can enjoy ourselves.  No need having it weigh down on us any longer.  There are plans to be made… things to be discussed.” Vance explained.  

Mikey looked over at Brian then over at Vance – completely ignoring Cynthia and Justin.  “Actually I have thought about it, and I know what I want to do.”  Taking a deep breath, Mikey stared hard at Vance.  “I have decided to join the Center.  Do the same thing as Brian.”

Brian let out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding.  He lowered his head, thankful that Mikey had made that choice.  _‘At least he didn’t choose Section.  I don’t know where the hell he came up with the idea he could do that, but I’m glad he decided against it.  Maybe what Justin told him actually sunk in.  God, I can only hope.’_

Although Brian and Vance were happy, Justin caught the look in Mikey’s eyes when he looked at Brian and gave his decision.  Mikey wasn’t doing this for the ‘good’ of the world… he wasn’t even doing this because he was scared, or thought he could make something of himself.  No… Justin knew that Mikey only did this, made that decision so that he could stay close to Brian.  So that the man could have a part of Brian that no one else was privileged to.  Mikey was STILL infatuated with Brian, and that whole idea made Justin sick.  After hardly touching his breakfast, Justin stood, and put his dishes away.  Somehow eating, hell, even being in the same room as Mikey was leaving a sick feeling deep within Justin.  All he wanted to do was grab his gun and shoot the man between the eyes, and end this whole charade.  “I need to check in.” Justin said as he walked out of the kitchen, leaving a confused Brian staring after him.

After sitting down in front of the computer, and turning it on, Justin took a deep breath.  He needed to calm down.  He didn’t need Nikita thinking anything was wrong.  He wasn’t supposed to let his feelings – his emotions – get in the way of him doing his job.  He had thought that he could handle it… that being in a relationship with Brian wouldn’t put his job in jeopardy.  He couldn’t let things get out of hand.  Closing his eyes, Justin reached deep within himself and began to shut down… becoming the perfect Section Operative.  He had to keep his objective if he was going to get them ALL out of this alive.  He couldn’t let Mikey destroy what he had worked so hard to build… he wouldn’t let Mikey do what Madeline, Operations and many other have tried to do for the past five years.  Mikey wouldn’t be the one to destroy him.  There was no way in hell of that ever happening.

Brian stood off to the side as Justin checked in with Section.  He had noticed the change in his lover when Mikey had told everyone his decision, and he wasn’t sure what was wrong.  Once he saw the connection end, Brian walked up to Justin and placed his hands on the man’s shoulders.  “How about that shower?” He asked.  He wanted to get Justin alone and get to the bottom of what was wrong.

Justin took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.  “Go ahead.  I have to do a sweep, and make sure everything is set.  The others should be here in a couple of hours, so I have to clear the perimeter… check the security.”

“Justin.” Brian began.  Brian moved so he could kneel in front of Justin, and look the young man in the eye.  He saw something there that he hadn’t seen in a while, and it scared him.  He wondered what put the blank look back in Justin’s eyes.  “What’s wrong?” He asked.  He needed to know why Justin had shut down, why he had gone into the ‘ _zone’_.  

“Not now, Brian.  I’ll deal with it.  There’s nothing you need to worry about.  Take your shower, help Vance with Mikey… I’ll deal with the rest.” Justin said with no emotion.  Standing Justin put on his shirt that was sitting in the chair next to the computer, and walked out the door.

Brian put his head in his hands and let out a sigh.  _‘He’s going to be the death of me… I just fucking know it.  What the FUCK is his damn problem?  Well if he fucking thinks that I’m letting this go, he’s got another thing coming.’_ Brian turned and went out the front door following Justin.  When he reached Justin, he put his hand on his arm and turned him around.  “What the fuck was that all about?”

Justin just shook his head and tried to continue his surveillance.  “Just leave it alone, Brian.  We both have our own duties to attend to.  Do yours and let me do mine.”

“Oh no, Sunshine.  This has NOTHING to do with duty… something happened in there and I want to know what.” Brian said still holding onto Justin’s arm.  “Tell me now.”

Justin looked Brian in the eye, and shook his head in disbelief.  “You can’t be that stupid, Brian.  You can’t be that fucking blind.”

“What are you talking about?” Brian said getting angry.  He didn’t know where all this shit was coming from, but he was going to find out.  Where did Justin come off being so rude to him?

“You really don’t know.  Christ, Brian!  How can you NOT know?” Justin asked.  Shaking his head he pulled his arm free from Brian’s grasp and began to walk down one of the paths leading away from the cabin.  “After all these years, you really don’t know… or else you purposely choose to ignore it.  Hell, I knew from the first moment I saw him.  You can’t be that ignorant!”

Brian followed closely behind Justin and shook his head.  “Look, I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong.  Mikey has Ben now.  It’s not like that between us.”

Justin turned around so he could face Brian.  “You know which choice he should have made, Brian.  He should have told Mr. Jones that he would take the mind swipe.  He should have taken that so he could be sure that Ben, Deb, and Vic were protected.  That’s what he should have done.  You know that just as well as I do.  The only reason why you didn’t take that option was because of me.  Who did Mikey have?  Huh?  Why would Mikey choose this life, knowing that everyone he loves is now in danger?  He sees what this life has to offer.  So you tell me why?”

“I don’t know… maybe he thinks that this could be like a comic.  Maybe he thinks that he can do some good.  Why the fuck should I care why he decided this route?  It wasn’t my choice, it was his.  His reasoning is NOT my problem.” Brian said in a raised voice.  “What the fuck is your problem?”

“I saw the look, Brian.  When he told Mr. Jones what his decision was.  He looked at you, even if it was just for a second… it was enough.  He’s not doing this for any other reason then for YOU.  He still has this fantasy of the two of you, and that’s why he’s doing this.  It’s like he has always wanted… the two of you working together fighting the bad guys… who knows maybe falling madly in love with each other.  Fuck if I know.  But I’ve been trained to notice these things, Brian, and I’m not making it up.  I saw the look, and it was … I don’t know how to even begin to describe it.”  Justin ran his hand through his hair.  He hated that he sounded like some jealous lover… and maybe in a way he was, but that wasn’t why he was so pissed.  “It’s not that I’m not happy that he’ll be helping out… hell we could use all the people we can get.  Especially now!  It’s his reasoning that I find wrong.”

Brian reached out and grabbed a hold of Justin’s hands.  Holding the young man’s hands tightly in his own, he tried to comfort his lover.  “Okay, so maybe his thinking and reason is wrong.  What does it matter?  As you said, we need all the people we can get right now.  So what if he’s doing it for some crazy reason?  He knows how I feel about him, and he knows what I feel about you.  He has Ben now and there’s nothing between us.  He knows that.”

“How can he know what you feel about me, Brian?  Huh?  Until yesterday, he thought I was dead.  But that’s not the point.  I’m afraid of what he might do.” Justin told Brian.  That was his fear, his biggest fear.  The fear that Mikey might take his infatuation too far, and get someone hurt.  The only problem now is that now he could get someone killed.  That person could very well be Brian, and Justin wouldn’t allow that.  He wished he had just pulled the trigger when he had the chance.

Brian leaned his forehead against Justin’s.  “I’ll deal with Mikey.  I have for this long, that’s not going to change.  You have to trust me.”

“I do trust you, Brian.  I don’t trust him.  If he were doing it for the right reasons I wouldn’t have a problem with him being in the Center… or hell even in Section.  But you know that he doesn’t give a damn about the innocents.  We have enough rogues in this organization, we don’t need any more.  We need people who give a damn if we’re going to make a difference.  If not then we haven’t changed a damn bit from Paul Wolfe’s, and George’s days.  I’d like to think that we’ve learned our lesson.  I’d like to think that it’s better.” Justin confessed.  

Brian lightly kissed Justin on the lips, trying to let the man know that he understood.  “Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it.  Okay?  Let me handle Mikey… don’t worry about it.  You have too many other things to worry about, don’t let this get to you, okay?”

Justin nodded briefly, and then pulled away.  “You better get inside.  I still have to do a sweep.  I’ll meet you back inside.” He said as the turned to leave.

Brian watched as Justin walked away and thought about the young man’s fears.  Could Mikey being in the Center cause a problem for all of them?  Could Mikey only be doing this in hopes of one day being with Brian?  Brian swore to himself and to Justin that he would keep an eye out on Mikey.  He wasn’t going to let Mikey screw things up… not now.  There were too many lives at stake. 

* * * * * * * * *

Justin sat down on the couch checking all of the weapons and security systems.  The last thing he wanted was to be caught unaware.  The main reason why he had set up a small monitor system in the living room was because he wanted to keep an eye on Mikey.  It wasn’t that he thought that the man would do anything, but he wanted to be sure that his initial reaction to Mikey’s declaration was true.  He wanted to believe that Mikey didn’t join just to be with Brian, but his gut was telling him differently.  The first sign of trouble… the first indication that Mikey didn’t take this seriously, Justin swore that he would fix the man’s belief.  

Suddenly a red blip showed on the security monitor, and Justin turned his full attention on the screen.  Standing he holstered his gun, and walked toward the door.  “Stay here.  And for god sakes, stay away from the door.  I’ll check this out.” He told the group as they all started toward the door to follow him.  Shaking his head, wondering what the hell they thought they could do, Justin walked out into the amazingly warm early spring air.  A small sedan pulled up into the driveway and Justin could make out two figures.  Smile on his face he kneeled down and held his arms out as a young boy jumped out of the car.  “Uncle Justin!” The boy yelled excitedly, as he jumped into Justin’s arms.  

“Adam.  So your daddy decided to bring you all the way over here to see me, huh?” Justin asked stealing a quick glance at Michael as his old mentor stepped out of the car. 

“What happened to your arm?” Adam asked seeing the bandage on Justin’s arm.

Justin moved Adam over to his left hip, and walked over toward the car to help Michael with the bags.  He should have figured that they would want to keep Adam safe and that Michael would be coming.  “Well remember that tree out back that we wanted to move for the new play set?” Justin asked.  Reaching into the trunk he pulled out a small bag.  He saw Adam nod his head and a look of confusion appear on the six-year-olds face.  “Well it came out and bit me.” Justin said with a playful growl.  Adam laughed as he held onto his ‘uncle’.  “Michael.  I didn’t think you would get here so fast… I wasn’t expecting you for another couple of hours.  The trip must have been easy.” Justin told Michael.  He knew well enough that anything dealing with Section was NOT to be discussed.  

“No problem.  Traffic was light.”  Michael looked Justin over and with the short sleeve shirt that the young man had on, Michael could make out a bandage on his shoulder.  From the slight limp that Justin had, he found the last injury.  Seeing the injuries to his friend and protégé, Michael could assess what had happened.  “Is everything set?”

“Yeah.” Justin said.  Turning his attention to the young boy in his arms, Justin smiled.  “I have some friends staying here.  Want to meet them?”

“Yeah!” Adam said bouncing up and down on Justin’s hip.  

“Adam.” Michael scolded his son.  “Settle down.”

“Yes, papa.” Adam said as he put his head down on Justin’s shoulder.  

“Come on… let’s go make some new friends.” Justin told the young boy as he bit the inside of his lip to keep the pain inside and not let it show.  

When Michael was asked to be a part of the blood cover with Adam’s mom, Elena, Justin had not been in Section at the time.  However, shortly after Adam was born, Justin had been brought in as a younger brother of Michael’s.  His cover was that he was a professional bodyguard, which kept him away for months at a time.  It was his first assignment, and one that he had been given while still in training.  He just figured that they were desperate for someone… or else they had seen some potential in him even back then.  No matter the Section Head’s reasoning, Justin was thrilled to have been able to be a part of Adam’s life.  It had reminded him of Gus, and he needed to have the little boy in his life, almost as much as Adam needed him.  When Michael had been ‘killed’, Justin had stayed a part of the lives of Adam and Elena, often giving reports to Michael on his family’s well being.  But then Corless happened, and Section moving Elena and Adam.  The next thing that Justin had heard was that Elena had died in a car accident, and Adam was being held by the Collective.  

Shaking his head, Justin smiled at the young boy.  Despite all the horror that the young boy had seen in his short life, he was still happy.  He had his family again, and that was all that mattered.  Carrying Adam into the cabin, he set the boy down.  “Adam, I would like you to meet my friends.  This is Mr. Jones… Vance Jones. “Justin said quickly.  He figured that would cover all the basiswith the man’s name, since Mikey and Brian called him Vance while everyone else said Mr. Jones.  It was enough to make him crazy, and he didn’t want to confuse the little boy.  “This is Cynthia, Michael, but we call him Mikey cause of your dad.” Justin explained.  “And this is Brian.”

Brian kneeled down in front of Adam and held out his hand.  “Nice to meet you Adam.  I have a son about your age.”

“Really?” Adam asked.  “Is he here too?”

Brian shook his head.  “No, he’s with his momma right now.  But maybe one day we can get the two of you together.  Would you like that?” Brian asked.

“Yeah!  Can we go play now, Uncle Justin?” Adam asked, looking up at Justin.

Shaking his head, Justin looked down at the boy.  “I have to talk to your daddy for a little bit, and get you two settled in.  But you can go aheadand go out back.  Your new play set is up.”

Cynthia knelt down so she was eye to eye with the young boy.  “How about I go with you?  I always likedplay sets.”

With a big smile on his face, Adam grabbed a hold of Cynthia’s hand and began to lead her out of the house.  

Justin watched as Adam lead Cynthia out of the house, then he turned toward the remaining group.  “First off, when Adam is around there will be NO shop talk.  He doesn’t know… and we want to keep it that way.  He’s had a hard enough life, and we’ve explained some things to him, but you will say NOTHING in front of him.  If you want to talk ‘shop’ you will take it outside or in the surveillance room.  Understood?” Justin asked.  Getting an agreement from the three men, he nodded his head.  “This is Michael.  Michael, you already know Brian and … Vance.” He said rolling his eyes slightly.  “This is Michael Novotny.  Don’t ask… I’ll tell you all about it later.” He stated to his mentor.

“Good to see you again, Michael.” Brian said taking some of the bags from Michael.  “Where do you want these?”

“Their room is down the hall beside the kitchen.” Justin said.

“It’s good to see you again, Brian.” Michael’s soft voice replied.

“Michael!” Vance’s voice cried out with fake happiness.  “It is sooo good to have you here.”

Michael turned to look over at Mr. Jones and looked the man up and down.  “Shut up.” He stated then walked down the hall toward the bedroom, not even acknowledging Mikey.

“He’s friendly.” Mikey huffed.  “He can’t talk to you like that… you’re like his boss right?”

Justin laughed, and shook his head.  “You tell Michael that.  Trust me it’s normal for those two.  Right, Mr. Jones?”

Vance rubbed his head and moved to sit back down on the couch.  “Yes, unfortunately.  I can say that it is good that at least this time he’s not pointing a gun in my face… or other parts of my body.”

Michael came out of the back room and nodded toward Justin.  The two men walked out onto the porch to talk out of the earshotof the others.  Mikey looked over at Brian and shook his head.  “What is his deal?  He comes here and acts like he owns the place.  We’re basically his bosses right?  He can’t treat us like this.  We should know what they are talking about.  It’s our lives they’re discussing.”  
  


Brian just laughed and sat down in a chair across from Vance.  “Will you just sit down, Mikey.  Let the professionals handle our ‘security’.  That’s what they have been trained to do, and I for one, have no clue as to how to set up a sting operation, or whatever.  Do YOU?” He asked his friend knowing full well that the man didn’t.  “Just let Justin and Michael handle things.  And in all honesty, in this situation,Michael IS in charge.  He is Justin’s superior, and since Justin was in charge before that now falls to Michael.  I’ve read his file… he’s good, Mikey.  If we have any hope of getting out of this in one piece, they will do it.”

Vance nodded.  “Michael and Justin are two of the best Operative that Section has ever had.  They know what they are doing, as Brian said.  Leave the hard work for them… we have other things to discuss.”

“You want me to put my life in the hands of complete strangers?” Mikey asked.

Brian ran his hand through his hair, trying to think of what Mikey’s problem was.  “Mikey… that’s exactly what we are telling you.  You have to trust in Vance and myself when we say that those two out there are the best ones for the job.  Hell, in reality they really should be with their people trying to find out where these bad guys are.  That’s what they SHOULD be doing.”

“So my life is in Justin’s hands?” Mikey huffed.  He didn’t like the damn twink before he ended up ‘dead’, and he was liking him even less now that he knew the kid was alive.  Mikey didn’t want to think too much as to why he was so pissed, why he hated Justin too much.  He didn’t want to admit that he was jealous.  Justin had everything that he ever wanted.  He had Brian.  He was supposed to be dead, for Christ sake.  Why did the kid have to still be alive?

Brian looked over at Mikey, and thought about what Justin had told him.  Could Mikey have joined because he had hopes that he and Brian would get together someday?  Was that the only reason?  Brian didn’t want to believe it… he wanted to believe that his friend was happy with Ben.  He wanted to believe that Mikey had gotten over his little crush.  “What’s the real problem, Mikey?” Brian asked wondering what his friend would say.

Mikey looked at Brian and took a deep breath.  “I don’t trust him.”

“Justin has never given you reason to NOT trust him.  And you sure as hell don’t know Michael.  What the fuck is your problem?” Brian asked getting pissed at his friend.

“Well, gentlemen, I think this is where I go find something else to do.  I completely loath bloodshed.” Vance stated as he turned and walked out of the room.  He could see Brian losing his patience with his friend, and the last thing Vance wanted was to get in the middle of a domestic dispute.  He agreed with Brian… Justin and Michael were the best men for the job.  With those two protecting them, Vance knew that he would make it out of this mess in one piece.  _‘Of course Nikita would send her best.  She wouldn’t want to have something happen to me.  I am just a decoy after all.  And if something were to happen to me, then the REAL ‘Mr. Jones’ would have to appear.’_ He thought.  _‘Oh what a tangled web we weave.’_

Brian looked over at Mikey and waited.  “I asked you a question.  What… the … fuck… is … your… problem?” He asked again as if speaking to a child.

Mikey looked up at Brian, trying to come up with a way out of this discussion.  “You heard Justin.  We can’t talk about it here.” He stated proud that he found a way.

Brian nodded, with his normal tongue-in-cheek expression.  “Fine.” Brian said as he grabbed his coat off the back of one of the chairs and tossed Mikey his.  “Let’s go for a walk.”  Brian stood by the door and held it open for Mikey.  Once both men were outside, Brian began to walk down a small path off the side of the house.  He had seen Justin and Michael off to the side of the porch, and caught Justin’s confused look.  Brian knew he would have to talk with Justin about this later.  But now it was just one thing at a time… first Mikey, then Justin.  Once they were far enough away from the house and everyone else, Brian stopped and turned toward Mikey.  “Now… what the fuck is going on?”

Mikey took a deep breath, and slowly turned toward Brian.  “I don’t like him.  I don’t trust him.  Five years is a long time, Brian.  Who’s to say that what he’s been telling us is true?  He could be lying to us.”

“Ohhh. So Justin is lying.  Hell I guess that means that Vance is lying, and so is Cynthia.  Hell so am I.  Is that it?” Brian asked shaking his head.

“I think that they convinced you that what they are doing is right.  Who’s to say that that is really Justin?  We saw his body, Brian.  You were there.” Mikey went on to explain.

Brian looked at Mikey, biting the inside of his cheek.  “You don’t have to tell me what I know and don’t know, Mikey.  I was there.  I was the one who held him in my arms as the blood poured out of his skull.  I was the one who saw Hobbs come up behind him and hit him.”  Brian started to say.  Taking a deep breath in order to stop the images of that night from taking over, Brian let it out slowly.  “I also know what I have seen, Mikey.  Are you saying that it was Justin and all these others who destroyed that place in China?  That those people who we saw dead at Vanguard were just some elaborate scheme to get us to join?  What about the wounds that Justin had?  Tell me about that.”

Mikey moved closer to Brian and put his hand on the man’s arm.  “Brian.  I just don’t understand all of this.  We’re talking terrorists, and people dying.  Why Justin?  I just can’t believe that someone would go to so much trouble for someone who really isn’t anyone.”

“You’re right, it doesn’t make sense.  Hell, even Justin isn’t sure of why he was brought in.  But that’s the thing, Mikey.  They don’t care.  I mean things are changing, but at the time when Justin was brought into Section, they didn’t care.” Brian tried to explain.  “I don’t know how to explain it, Mikey.  I have seen what they do.  I know that this isn’t some game.  Fuck, trust me on that.  I thought it was some shit right out of a damn movie, but I know now that it isn’t.  If you’ve seen half as much as I have, Mikey…”

“So you just go right along with it… no questions asked?” Mikey asked.  “He’s lied before, Brian.  How can you trust him?”

Brian looked hard at Mikey, Justin’s words echoing in his head.  “Is this about me and Justin being together?  Or is this about acting out all of those damn fantasies of us saving the fucking world?”

“What?  Where the hell are you getting that idea?  I bet that’s what Justin told you, isn’t it?  He told you that I was upset with the two of you being together, and I want you all for myself.  What a fucking..” Mikey began.

  
”Well which is it?  Or is it both?”  Brian took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair.  “Mikey, look.  You need to leave Justin alone.  He’s had it hard enough without your shit too.  Leave him alone.” Brian told his friend as he turned to walk back to the house.  Before he got too far, he looked over his shoulder.  “One more thing, Mikey.  You need to decide exactly WHY you want to do this.  Cause I’m telling you… there will NEVER be anything between us other than friendship.  And if you’re doing this for that reason, you can forget it.  There’s too much at stake for that type of shit.  Do it for the right reasons, or I will tell Vance to do one of the other options.”

“You would do that?” Mikey asked shocked by what his friend was telling him.

“As I said, Mikey.  There’s too much at stake.”  Brian stated then turned back toward the house leaving Mikey alone with his thoughts.

* * * * * * * * *

Justin sat on the floor playing with Adam, while everyone else was finishing with their dinner.  Adam had finished and Michael allowed the young boy to leave the table.  Justin decided it was a good opportunity to spend time with the young boy.  It had been a long time since it was just the two of them, and Justin felt alive watching the boy’s excitement over every little detail.  Even though Justin knew he would never have children – and he would never get a chance to see Gus again – he felt he had the chance at something with Adam.  Something that he silently craved – not that he would ever tell anyone.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Mikey standing in the doorway watching him play with Adam.  He kepta close eye on the man, trying to gauge what Mikey was thinking.  He wasn’t dumb enough to think that Mikey liked him – in fact he knew the older man hated him.  Mikey hated him from the first moment he had seen Justin… of that there was no doubt in the young man’s mind.  Mikey’s hatred for Justin only grew with each passing day… with each time that Brian took him to the loft, and let him into their circle.  Justin doubted that the man’s hatred had diminished at all.  If anything it only grew.  

Justin knew that he had things that Mikey could only dream of, and it all centered around Brian.  Brian loved Justin… he respected Justin – two things that Mikey craved.  Justin was Brian’s equal… and in some ways his superior, just like Brian was his in many ways as well.  They equalled each other out – where one lacked the other picked up the slack and excelled.  It was the way it had always been between the two, and had only gotten stronger since they had found each other again.  Justin knew he would never change a moment of it.  He knew that because of his experiences in Section he was finally better matched to handle Brian’s temperament – his emotional handicap.  Justin had his fair share of emotional problems, but they understood each other and why the other couldn’t say certain things.  

Mikey would never be able to fully understand Brian.  He would say that he did, that he knew Brian better than anyone else – but he was lying to himself.  Mikey believed what he wanted to about Brian.  To Mikey, Brian will always be the teen… the one who Mikey worshipped.  Justin didn’t worship Brian.  He accepted Brian and all his faults.  In fact it was the faults that appealed to Justin the most.  

Brian came out of the dining room and sat down next to Justin on the floor.  “Hey, Adam.  What are you doing?” Brian asked.  He felt like he was with Gus… the two boys were so much alike it was frightening.  

“Justin is trying to teach me how to play this video game.” The boy told Brian pointing to the TV.  

Brian looked up, noticing the small Nintendo© hooked up to the TV.  “Really?  Is he any good?”

“Nah… I’ve beaten him like one hundred times.” Adam said.

“Hey.” Justin replied acting hurt.  “You’re just a fast learner.  I think that your dad got you this game.  I bet you have played this before.”

Adam looked everywhere but Justin, twirling the controller in his hand.  “Daddy didn’t buy it for me.” He stated quietly.  

Justin shook his head.  “Ohhh so Nikita bought it for you.” Justin stated and watched as the young boy looked around the room.  “I knew I was at an unfair advantage.” He laughed, reaching out to tickle Adam.  Looking up, Justin saw the disgusted look on Mikey’s face, and decided that something needed to be done with about their situation.  “Hey?  Why don’t you play with Brian?  Beat him a couple of times.  I need to talk to Mikey, okay?”

Adam nodded, and Brian looked over at Justin asking the young man what the hell he was doing with his eyes.  Brian watched as Justin and Mikey walked out of the house, and wondered if they would both come back in one piece.  He knew that whatever the two men were going to be discussing, it wouldn’t be good.

Justin ledMikey out toward the driveway, without saying a word.  Once they reached the end that was near the road, Justin turned toward Mikey and stared the man in the eye.  “You don’t have to like me, Mikey… you don’t even have accept me.  But you will listen to me.”  Justin saw that Mikey was about to interrupt and held up his hand.  “This is a mission.  You stuck your fucking nose in where it didn’t belong and now you have to live with it.  YOU put yourself in his position, and now I have to deal with it.  I now have to worry about you doing something, or saying something that could get people killed.  I don’t like being in that position.”

“Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?  You think you know me, you don’t know shit!” Mikey stated.  He was getting upset with Justin and he hated how Justin seemed so relaxed, so calm.  Mikey’s life had been turned upside-down, and he didn’t even know which way was up anymore.  He definitely didn’t like some damn twink telling him what he could and couldn’t do.

“Oh I know a whole hell of a lot, Mikey.” Justin said with a small smile playing on his lips.  “I know about the money that you have ‘borrowed’ to expand the comic book shop.  What would everyone think about that?” Justin asked and saw fear start to appear in Mikey’s eyes.  “I know about the lover you have on the side… all those trips that you make for your comic book.  Does anyone know that you head to Portland to see David?  And here I thought you were over him.”

“How… You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Mikey cursed.  He never thought that any of his extra ‘affairs’ would be discovered.  He thought he had it hidden well enough that no one would ever find out.  “I don’t know who you think you are, but you’re lying.  No one will believe you.”

“Oh, so you fuck David behind your current lover’s back, and steal from him to further yours and Ben’s life.  Does Ben know where the extra money comes from?  Does he?  Does David know that you’re stealing from him?”  Justin shook his head in disgust.  “And then there’s this.  You don’t give a damn about this shit. You don’t care about what we do, or why we do it.  All you care about is Brian, and getting into his pants.  Brian isn’t going to fuck you, when are you going to realize that?  You’re using both Ben and David, and lusting after Brian.” Justin calmly explained what he knew.  “You are one sick fuck.”  Justin took a step closer to Mikey and sized the man up.  “All I can say is that you better straighten the fuck up.  If you do anything that could hurt this organization, or hurt Brian… I will kill you.”

“You’re threatening me?  You can’t do that.  I’m the boss… I have more power then you do.  I tell you what to do.”  Mikey stated trying to get some resemblance of control back.

“It’s not a threat.  It’s a promise.  You want to play with the big boys?  Well listen up and I’ll tell you what us big boys do.”  Justin took a step away from Mikey and reached for his gun.  He handed it to Mikey and placed it in the man’s hand.  “Go ahead.  Do it.” Justin said holding the gun tightly in Mikey’s hand.

Mikey looked down at the gun in horror.  He never held a gun before, and now he had one and it was pointed directly at Justin’s chest.  “It’s not even loaded.”

Justin reached over and pulled back the chamber, loading a bullet directly into it… making it ready to use.  “Do it.  You want me out of your life.  You think you can play in this game?  Then pull the trigger.”

“You’re fucking crazy.” Mikey yelled, trying to pull his hand away from the gun and Justin.  

“I’m not afraid to die.  Are you, Mikey?” Justin said as he released Mikey’s hand and took the gun in his own.  In a flash Justin had it pointed directly at Mikey’s temple.  “Keep this in mind.  I’m not afraid to die… I haven’t been afraid in a long time.  I am trained to kill, and you wouldn’t even make me flinch.  So you keep that in mind if you even THINK about fucking with me.  Don’t fuck up the mission, don’t fuck with what we do.  You will tell no one ANYTHING of what we do, you won’t mention a thing.”  Lowering the gun, and placing it back in his holster Justin turned his full attention on Mikey.  “We do some good with this organization, and I won’t allow you to fuck it up.  I won’t allow you to do anything to jeopardize what we do.  If I catch you… if I even THINK that you’re not doing this for the right reasons, I will kill you.”

“You wouldn’t.  You can’t.” Mikey stated feeling like he was about ready to pee his pants. 

“It’s allowed, in fact it’s protocol.  In this place – the place you were just sooo willing to join, that you thought would be soo cool to join – we don’t hesitate killing people, even if it is our own people.  Killing is what we do, and if you put any of my people in danger, I will personally be the one to put the bullet in your head.”  Justin turned and was going to walk back into the house.  Instead of following through, Justin turned back around and looked Mikey directly in the eye.  “I’m letting you off easy.  Everyone else would put those you care about on the list of targets.  I love Deb and Vic too much to do that.  Count yourself lucky that it is me.” He finished then finally headed back toward the house.

Mikey bent and put his hands on his knees.  The past two days had not been at all what he had expected.  First he was taken and placed in a gunfight,then he was told a wild tale about terrorists and agents.  And just today, Mikey had been ripped to shreds by both Brian and Justin.  He didn’t know what to expect anymore.  It seemed like his life was in total disarray.  Somehow Justin had found out things that Mikey didn’t want people to know about.  Mikey felt used.  He was being blackmailed,there was no other way to think about it for him.  Mikey knew that if he could, he would eliminate that threat.  Things were going good in his life for the first time, and he wasn’t going to let some little shit ruin it. 

* * * * * * * * *

Justin walked back in the house and saw Brian sitting alone on the couch waiting.  “I didn’t kill him, if that’s what you were waiting for.” Justin said with a small smile.  Moving over toward the couch, Justin sat down with his legs on either side of Brian and leaned in so their foreheads touched.  “Where’s Adam?”

“He went to take his bath and get ready for bed.  Michael and Vance are talking about some shit… I don’t know what.  And you?”  Brian asked placing his hands on Justin’s hips and pulling the young man closer to his body.  

Justin leaned in and laid his head on Brian’s shoulder, placing light kisses on his lover’s neck.  “Just having a small talk with Mikey.”

“About what?” Brian asked leaning away from Justin so he could look the young man in the eye.

Justin took a deep breath, and slowly released it.  “Nothing too major.  I just wanted to be sure he understood what he was getting himself into.  I told him that he needs to remember why he can’t tell anyone about us… I just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page is all.” Justin told Brian.  

“And?”

“And nothing.  I think we both understand where the other stands.” Justin told him.  Hearing the door open, he didn’t even look back at Mikey as the man walked into the cabin.  

Brian looked at Mikey and saw how pale the man looked.  “Mikey.” Brian said carefully.  “You okay?”

Mikey glanced up quickly at Brian, his mouth opening to say something, but a quick look toward Justin he just shook his head.  “Fine.  I’m going to bed.” He said as he quickly made his way upstairs to the room he was staying in.

Brian turned his attention to Justin and gave the younger man a look that told Justin that he wanted answers.  Pulling back from the young man, Brian took a deep breath.  “What the fuck did you do?”

Justin faced Brian and glared at him.  Standing from the man’s lap, Justin turned around and moved toward the computer in the corner.  “I told you.  All I did was make sure Mikey knew what he was dealing with.  If he can’t stand the truth about what he is now in, then that’s his fucking fault.  I’m not going to be held responsible for what the fuck he does… what he has done to fuck up his own life.”

Brian stood and walked over toward Justin.  Putting his hands on Justin’s shoulders, Brian turned the young man around to face him.  “What are you talking about?”

Justin looked into Brian’s eyes, and shook his head.  “Brian…” He began.  “There are some things that are better if you don’t know.  Let’s just say that Mikey and I have an understanding.  He knows where I stand, and what I will do if he fucks up.  He’s not all innocent as everyone thinks he is, and I won’t allow his extra affairs to damage us… and I won’t let him do anything that could get people killed.  Just know that, and leave it alone.  It’s for him to tell you.”

Brian stepped closer to Justin and leaned in so their foreheads were touching.  “Justin… what the fuck are you talking about?  Mikey isn’t the enemy… yeah he makes some stupid decisions at times, but he’s not the enemy here.”

Justin reached up and put his hands on either side of Brian’s face, looking deep into his lover’s eyes.  “Mikey will have to explain if he’s ready.  I just wanted to be sure that he won’t do anything stupid that could get you hurt… get anyone hurt.  I won’t let him fuck this up, Brian.  I won’t let him put any of us in danger.  I’ll do whatever I have to do to make that happen.”

Brian looked Justin, realizing he wasn’t going to get anything out of his lover.  He was definitely going to have to have a talk with Mikey soon.  He had to find out what Justin was talking about.  Brian didn’t think that Mikey could really do any damage to them.  It just wasn’t in his friend, but he would give Justin the benefit of the doubt.  Deciding that he had enough talk about the mission, about their situation, and sure as fuck enough about Mikey – Brian leaned in and lightly kissed Justin’s lips.  

Grateful that his lover was dropping the whole Mikey thing for now, Justin pulled Brian tighter against him, and dove his tongue into the other man’s mouth.  As their tongues duelled, Justin pulled Brian’s shirt out of his pants, and parted only long enough to pull the object over his lover’s head.  They continued to undress one another, only briefly breaking contact of their lips.  

Brian slowly lowered the two down onto the large pillow by the fireplace, pulling Justin on top of him.  With Justin sitting on his legs, Brian handed the young man a condom and lube.  He felt Justin’s hand rolling the latex over his hard cock, then sat and watched as his lover prepared himself.

Justin sat up and moved over Brian’s cock – with Brian holding his member – lowered himself until he was filled by his lover.  Justin began to move up and down – driving Brian deeper into him as Brian’s hands moved to his hip, guiding him.  Justin bent down bringing their lips together, diving his tongue into Brian’s warm mouth.

Brian continued to move his hips up to meet Justin’s downward movement.  Brian pulled away from the kiss briefly to catch his breath as he felt Justin’s hot tunnel close around him.  No words were spoken between the two men as they moved toward completion.  Brian felt Justin’s seed seep between their bodies, and let himself go.  

Justin fell on top of Brian, trying to catch his breath.  “God, I’ve missed you.” He told his lover.  After catching his breath slightly, Justin sat up a little so he could look down at Brian.  “You know, we could always try to take some down time together in a couple of weeks. I have some time coming to me…that is if you can get the time off.”

Brian reached up and ran his hands through Justin’s golden locks.  “Try and stop me.”  Brian carefully rolled them over on their sides, making sure he kept contact with Justin – never letting the young man out of his grasp, and not letting himself slip out of the young man until absolutely necessary.  “Want to finally tell me what is going on between you and Mikey?”

“Nothing,” Justin began.  “Really, Brian.  It’s nothing that you need to be concerned about.  You know as well as I do that Mikey doesn’t like me.  Never has, never will.  I just wanted to be sure that it wouldn’t cloud his thinking.  I am trying to make sure that he doesn’t do anything that can get someone hurt.”  Justin leaned in and lightly kissed Brian on the lips, wanting to calm his lover.  “You worry too much.  You should trust me, Brian.”

Brian looked up at Justin slightly shocked.  “I never said I didn’t trust you!  Where the fuck are you getting that?”

Justin removed himself from Brian and walked over to the computer and sat down.  “Brian, can we not start this right now?” He asked as he turned the chair around so he could face his lover.  “It’s obvious that you don’t trust me, or else you would believe me.  I’m not angry… I’m just saying that I wouldn’t betray you.  I hope that someday you will understand that.”  Justin leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees.  “I have learned that you can’t trust anyone completely.  Putting your trust in someone can only get you killed… NEVER trust anyone completely.  But the thing is, Brian… I trust you, no matter how much I try to tell myself I shouldn’t.  I trust you.  Totally and completely – there is no doubt in my mind.  I just hope that someday you can trust me the same way.”

Brian sat up and moved in front of Justin.  Taking the younger man’s hands into his own, Brian leaned forward so their foreheads were touching.  “You can trust me, Justin.  And I trust you.  I DO.  You should never doubt that.”

“Then you will trust me when I say that what is going on between Mikey and I is none of your business.  It does not directly effect you, and I’m only doing what I have to do in order to keep you and everyone else safe.”  Justin told Brian.  “I better check the messages, see if anything new has come up.” He stated as he turned the chair around and started to boot up the computer.

“What did they say last time you checked in?” Brian asked pulling a chair over to sit beside Justin.

Justin logged into the system, and began to get into his messages.  “They think they may have a lead on who has actual physical possession of the directory.  WE have learned that it’s not the actual Collective who has it… a small splinter group has actual possession of it, and is selling the information in pieces to the Collective as a whole.  We find the guy who has the disk, then we should be alright.  At least that’s the hope.”

“And if he actually gives it completely to the Collective, what then?” Brian asked.  That’s what he feared might happen.  He wasn’t sure where that would leave him, or anyone else for that matter.  Where would they go?  Where in the world would be safe?  He wasn’t sure, and he wasn’t a hundred percent sure that even with the manpower and contacts the Sections had, they would get out of this without some serious injury.  

Justin shrugged, slightly as he began to look over the messages.  “Who knows.  We move, try and rebuild.  We can’t stay in hiding too long… it would give them too much headway, and we can’t let them get too far ahead of us.  If we don’t stay on top of them, they win.”

“Fuck.” Brian swore.  He carefully looked over Justin’s shoulder, trying to see what the young man was reading.  “Anything?”

Justin continued to glance at the messages as they quickly appeared and disappeared on the screen.  He was grateful that he had learned speed reading, since his time allotted to be connected to the system was short.  They didn’t want to keep it open for long in case someone was trying to track them, so that meant quickly skimming the messages and logging out.  Justin closed the program and sat back in his chair, looking at the screen in front of him – deep in thought.  “Jason said that they think they have a lead.  They are gathering more information, and he said he should have it to us within in 6 hours.  That was an hour ago.  Once he has something concrete he’ll contact us over the PDA and then Michael and I will take it from there.”

“So the two of you will have to take care of it?  What about having a team go in and just wipe them out?” Brian shook his head.  He always knew he would never understand how the Section works, and his point was proven once again. 

Justin leaned back and stretched.  “They think that the group is here in the states.  If that’s true, then Michael and I are the closest ones.  Well us and Section 6… but we don’t want to use them unless absolutely necessary.  First we have to find them, then get whatever information we can.  If there’s another copy hidden somewhere… anything.” Justin turned so he could face Brian and gave the other man a small smile.  “Then we can go in and ‘wipe them out.’” 

Brian nodded, stood and reached his hand out to Justin.  “Well since we still have five hours, I don’t know about you, but I’m fucking exhausted.”

Justin smiled and took Brian’s hand.  “Lead the way.” Justin said allowing Brian to lead him back over to their ‘bed.’  

* * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * *

_ #1 Crush _

I would die for you  
I would die for you  
I've been dying just to feel you by my side  
To know that you're mine  
  
I will cry for you  
I will cry for you  
I will wash away your pain with all my tears  
And drown your fear  
  
I will pray for you  
I will pray for you  
I will sell my soul for something pure and true  
Someone like you  
  
See your face every place that I walk in  
Hear your voice every time that I'm talking  
You will believe in me  
And I will never be ignored  
  
I will burn for you  
Feel pain for you  
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart  
And tear it apart  
  
I will lie for you  
Beg and steal for you  
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see  
You're just like me  
  
Violate all the love that I'm missing  
Throw away all the pain that I'm living  
You will believe in me  
And I can never be ignored  
  
I would die for you  
I would kill for you  
I will steal for you  
I'd do time for you  
I will wait for you  
I'd make room for you  
I'd sink ships for you  
To be close to you  
To be part of you  
Cause I believe in you  
I believe in you  
I would die for you 

* * * * * * * * *

End of Acceptable Collateral

To be concluded in Close Quarters Stand-by


	2. Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ooops thought I had uploaded it all, but realized I hadn't. Here's the end of AC.

* * * * * * * * *

Justin stood behind Michael as they began to search the Intel from Section.  Cynthia had taken Adam into town to pick up supplies, leaving Brian, Michael and Vance alone in the kitchen.  “Looks like that might be a solid lead.  I can check it out tonight.” Justin told his mentor when he finished one of the messages.

“We’ll split up.  You will follow Krako, and I will check on Damon.  We will meet back here noon tomorrow.”  Michael told Justin.  The two men got up and began to get their things ready.

Vance stepped in front of Michael.  “Michael, I would like you to take these two with you.”

“No.” Michael stated.  The last thing Michael wanted was to baby-sit some untrained personnel.  “There’s too much at stake.”

“Michael.  This is not a request.  This is an order.  You will take Mr. Novotny and Mr. Kinney with you.  How you split it up between the two of you is your decision.” Vance told Michael.

Justin could see the silent conversation go on between the two men, one that he had been witness to on many occasions over the past year.  He never understood what it was between them, but he knew better than to ask.  He heard Michael agree, and Justin wanted to scream.  “Fine.” Michael stated, then turned to head toward his room to gather supplies.

Justin stood there for a second, looking the three men over.  Letting out a sigh, he headed over to one of the utility closets and pressed a small button beside the door.  “What’s all this?” He heard from behind him.  Justin could only roll his eyes at Mikey’s questions, knowing that Vance’s idea was the smartest he had ever had.  Justin couldn’t see Mikey or even Brian for that matter – getting physically involved in a mission.

Justin didn’t turn around to address the man, only grabbing the items out of the closet and placing things in a bag.  He picked up two small bags and set them down to the side.  “One bag is for each of you.  There’s some clothes in there, I suggest you put them on.” He said as he picked up a small gun and checked it completely.  “You’ll be unarmed, so stay close to Michael or myself.  Whichever the case shall be.  In the bag you’ll also find a Com device, and some other things – binoculars, night vision goggles, and such.”

“Why can’t we have a gun?” Mikey asked.

“Because, Michael and I said so.” Justin said.  “Until you have completed your training, and know how to use one… it’s better for everyone if you don’t.” Justin told him.  He wasn’t about to give someone who had never even held a gun a loaded one.  Who knew what would happen?  He didn’t trust Mikey, and until the older man proved himself, Justin wasn’t going to take any chances.  “The last damn thing we need is for you to shoot your foot off.” Justin quietly stated.  Taking a deep breath, Justin turned his attention back to Mikey.  “More than likely, you won’t even need the stuff in that bag.  Just keep them all handy just in case.”

“Let’s go.” Michael stated as he came up behind the men.

* * * * * * * * *

Brian stepped out of the car, and moved behind Justin.  The two men walked down the street, making their way toward a small bar.  Brian silently wished that this was something besides a mission.  He wanted nothing more than to be able to take Justin to a club like the old days – the days before the Prom.  Shaking his head in order to clear his thoughts, Brian followed Justin into the small, smoke-filled bar.  “How are we going to handle this?  Hell, who are we even looking for?”

“Why don’t you go over to the bar, see if you can find anything of interest.  We’re looking for Victor Krako.”  Justin informed Brian as he began to walk over to one of the pool tables.  “Just watch your back.”

Brian nodded and slowly made his way over to the bar.  “Beam.” He ordered.  Sitting in one of the high chairs, Brian began to take the place in.  He didn’t see much of a difference between this place and his haunts in Pittsburgh… it was a little darker, and dirtier but the atmosphere was basically the same.  ‘Well almost.  Guys here are hitting on me.’ He thought with a small smile.

Brian watched as Justin started talking to one of the guys over by the pool table.  “Sam Adams.”  He heard from the seat next to him.

Brian turned in his seat and looked at the man’s reflection in the mirror behind the bar.  He looked about the same height as Brian, with black hair and green eyes.  “Hey.” Brian stated at the man.  Brian watched as the man turned and walked away, barely registering Brian at all.  “Fucker.” he muttered under his breath as he turned back to see what Justin was doing.

Justin leaned against the wall talking to one of the pool players.  Brian watched Justin put something in the man’s drink when he turned away.  “Fuck me” he quietly stated, shaking his head.

“Hey.”  Brian heard from beside him.  Turning back to the bar, he looked over at a young man sitting next to him.  “This place is dead tonight.”  The guy stated.

Brian shrugged.  “Wouldn’t know.  This is my first time here.”

“Trust me… this is nothing compared to what it can be.”  The guy stated turning around to look out at the bar.  “There are some nights you can barely get to the bar, it’s so crowded.”

Brian glanced over at the man quickly, and rolled his eyes.  The last thing he wanted was to sit there and shoot the shit with some guy, but Brian decided he didn’t have anything else really pressing.  “It’s the weather, you know.  It’s not too hot, not too cold.  Everyone is most likely out at some damn barbeque or some shit.”

“Yeah.” The guy said.  “Are you here for the meeting?” The guy asked Brian.

“Which meeting is that?” Brian asked back, not knowing what the man was talking about.

“You are here to meet up with Krako, right?” the man asked Brian.

“Maybe I am… Maybe I’m not.  I can say one thing, though, you say shit like that… you might say it to the wrong person.” Brian stated.  At least Brian knew that they were in the right place.  It was more than they had been sure of before.

The man beside Brian looked sheepishly at him and shrugged.  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.  It’s just that… well come on, this shit is big.”

Brian shook his head, and leaned in to talk in the man’s ear.  “That’s the whole point isn’t it?  You wouldn’t want any of these damn annoying fuckers to come after you huh?  They would just love to get their hands on this.”

Brian turned away from the man and saw Justin nod toward the door.  Without a word, Brian got up from the bar, threw some money on the counter and followed Justin out the door.   
  

* * * * * * * * *

Brian sat on the couch in the spacious living room watching Michael and Justin discussing the information they had received.  Brian felt that this Intel Gathering was easy but he was smart enough to know that it didn’t always happen that way.  He could tell just by looking at Justin and Michael that last night was not a normal situation. H knew they wouldn’t put Mikey and himself into any situation that could be dangerous.

“Boss,” Cynthia greeted as she sat down beside him.  “I hear last night went well.”

“Yeah,” Brian stated leaning back against the couch.  “I didn’t really get shit but…”

“That’s not what I heard.” She stated causing Brian to laugh slightly.  “No, really.  You found at least one of the potential buyers.  That’s a lot.”

“Whatever.”

Cynthia placed her hand on Brian’s arm, causing the man to look over at her.  “I know that you don’t think you did some good last night, but you did.  We didn’t know who any of the buyers were.  And this guy that you found… well let’s just say his group isn’t on any of our lists.  That means it’s something that we were unaware of.  And you know that being caught unaware isn’t good for business.”

Brian smiled slightly, feeling a little better.  Cynthia was right, he did do something right.  “Now all we have to do is find something out about this new group, right?  Well that, get the directory back, beat the bad guys, and save the fucking world.  Fuck!  This is so fucking strange.  Who would have thought a year ago I would be doing shit like this?”

“I always knew you had it in you.  You’re a good man, Brian Kinney.” Cynthia stated as she got up from the couch.

Brian watched Cynthia as she made her way across the room.  He didn’t feel like he had done anything, in fact he felt like he failed in his mission.  Maybe it was Justin’s reaction… or lack of reaction when he told the young man what he had discovered.  Justin took the information in, and had even told Brian that the information was useful, but that was it.  Brian wasn’t sure what he was expecting but that wasn’t it.  He was still trying to come to grips with the new and improved Justin.

Brian felt the couch move beside him, and didn’t bother to look over.  He knew who it was.  “I don’t know about you, but that was a waste.” Mikey complained.  “Is that what they do?  I mean, if it is, I don’t see why you were so up in arms about me not doing that.  It was nothing.”

Brian shook his head slightly, laying it on the back of the couch.  With his eyes closed tightly, he took a deep breath.  “Mikey, Mikey, Mikey.  You still don’t understand do you?  This isn’t some game.  This is real.  Last night was nothing… it wasn’t a mission per say.  All it was, was information gathering.  Nothing more.  What you saw that night at Vanguard?  That was closer to the real thing.”  Brian explained once again.  “You didn’t even have a gun, Mikey.  You didn’t have a comset.  Nothing.  Last night was a fluke.”

Mikey shook his head.  “Brian,” he began, placing his hand on Brian’s arm.  “I know that you want to protect me, and I appreciate it.  But honestly, I can handle it.”

Brian laughed, not believing his friend’s innocence.  “Mikey.  Trust me, when Michael and Justin finish with their talk, things will get hectic.  You think you can do this?  I’m sure that Michael wouldn’t mind having you there on the mission with him.  All I can tell you… you brought it upon yourself.”

“If Justin can do this…”

“What’s going on between you two?  What the hell is wrong?”  Brian asked hoping to finally get some answers.  He knew that Justin would never tell him what was going on with Mikey… and he knew that it was more than just worrying about Mikey screwing up.  Justin knew something and he wasn’t telling.

“Nothing.  I don’t know what you’re talking about, Brian.  That little twink is trying to cause trouble.  He’s dangerous.  What are you trying to say?  You think I’m going to do something?”  Mikey asked.

“All I’m saying is… we can’t afford any mistakes and the last thing Justin needs is to worry about you.  I mean it Mikey, back off.”  Brian stated as he began to stand, wanting to get away from his friend.

“What do you mean?  You’re choosing him over me?  You believe him over me?”  Brian didn’t answer his friend just shook his head and stood.  He had to get away.  It was the smartest thing for him to do at that moment.  He didn’t know what he would do if it came down to Mikey and Justin.  He didn’t want to find out.

Brian walked over to where Justin and Michael were, leaving a confused Mikey alone on the couch.  “I contacted Section, and the team will be arriving in four hours.  They will meet us at the rendezvous location.  Walter and Quinn will be there with the supplies.”  Justin informed Michael, stealing a quick glance over to his lover.

“Good.  Do we have the layout?” Michael asked.

Justin nodded, holding out a PDA for Michael.  “Jason sent it an hour ago.  I have a SIM prepared and ready for your approval.” Justin answered.  Michael took the PDA from Justin and walked toward the back room.  Justin turned toward Brian and gave the other man a small smile.  “Hey.”

“Hey.” Brian replied.  He wasn’t sure if he could touch Justin or not.  If it was one thing that he had learned since seeing Justin again, was that there were times when he had to leave well enough alone.  As Walter had explained to him, Justin needed to stay detached.  No matter how much Brian hated that, he knew that he couldn’t interfere.  When he felt Justin’s light touch on his arm, he knew that it was okay.  Reaching around and pulling Justin to him, he breathed in Justin’s strength.  “How long?”

“Couple of hours,” Justin stated.  His voice sounded normal, not at all like the Section Operative.  “You fucking look exhausted.”

Brian nodded slightly, pulling Justin closer to him.  “So do you.”

Justin shrugged, pulling away enough to look into his lover’s eyes.  “I’m fine.  I don’t need much sleep anymore.  I’ll rest for a couple of minutes before we have to go.”  Justin reached up and placed his hand on Brian’s cheek.  “Don’t worry about me.  I’ll be fine.  I have all intention of keeping my promise.”

Brian remembered that promise, and knew deep down that there was no guarantee that it could be fulfilled.  It didn’t matter what Justin did or didn’t do… if the enemy got off just one lucky shot… or if someone else on the team messed up… well there was no guarantee that Justin would return to him.  “I know you will try.  But, you still need to rest.  That’s a part of it, Sunshine.”

Justin smiled up at Brian, enjoying the use of his old nickname.  “I do love you, you know that right?”

Brian nodded and lightly kissed Justin on the lips.  “Yeah.  Now let’s get some rest.”  Brian saw that Justin was going to protest, and he quickly kissed Justin again.  “Humour me.”

Justin could only nod as he reached for Brian’s hand, taking it in his own.   
  

* * * * * * * * *

Walter slowly made his way into the small cottage, directing traffic so to speak.  It was his job to make sure that all of the weapons were distributed and cared for, however his previous injury prevented him from doing much.  Brian came and sat down next to the man and shook his head.  “Shouldn’t you be in the hospital?”

“I see Justin has been talking.  I’m fine… hell better than fine.  Some damn rookie isn’t going to take me out.” Walter said with a smirk on his face.  “Just a little flesh wound.  You’d think that the fucking president was shot the way everyone’s been going about.”

“Well what would they do without you?” Brian asked.  “Any idea what’s going on?”

Walter shrugged slightly, careful of his injury.  “I do know that Justin plans on you and your friend staying in the van with Michael, Quinn, and I.  Michael will lead the mission from there, and I can’t even begin to tell you the last mission I was actually on… well somewhere besides the van.  I’m too old for that sort of thing anymore.”

“Age is all in your mind, Walter.  You prove that.”  Brian watched as Mikey made his way over to the two of them and sat down next to Brian in a huff.  “What the fuck is your problem?”

“I would think that they want us in the briefing.  I mean we are going… we should know what’s going on.”  Mikey pouted.

Walter laughed and shook his head.  “You’ll find out what you need to find out when we get to the van.  I can tell you this… your job is simple.  Watch and learn.”

“Who the fuck are you?” Mikey bitched.

Brian rolled his eyes, and shook his head.  “Mikey, be nice.  Walter has been doing this shit a hell of a long time, and you better give him the respect that he fucking deserves.” Brian stated, glaring at his friend.

“Why should I?  He’s nothing to me.”

“Walter can save your life.  He’s forgotten more than we will ever learn.”

Walter placed his hand on Brian’s shoulder.  “If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, is that you can’t teach someone something that they don’t want to learn.  I’ve been called a lot in my years, seen a lot of people come and go… and I can tell you one thing.” Walter began looking right at Mikey.  “If you take anything from this… anything at all, take this away.  File it somewhere deep inside, and never forget it.”

“What?” Mikey sighed, not really caring about what the man had to say.

“It’s the ones around you who will keep you safe.  They will bring you home.  And it’s not just the ones out in the field with you… it’s people like Quinn, myself, Jason, everyone in Intel.  It’s the people in Section who keep the world safe.  They are the ones who step up to the plate and do what others won’t.”  Walter moved forward in his seat and stared Mikey in the eye.  “Without the Sections, the shit that happened that day in September would be happening every day.  It’s the men and woman within those walls who die every damn day so that you know what it’s like to be able to go home to your loved ones.  They are the ones who sacrifice everything so that you can walk down the street without worrying about getting a bullet in the back of the head.”

When Walter saw that part of what he was saying was slowly seeping into the young man’s brain, he continued.  “In the Center… in Oversight, you have it easy.  You sit around, plan… evaluate.  But it’s easy, you don’t have to put your life on the line every day… every minute.  You can get close, have relationships.”  Walter tried not to get chocked up, remembering his brief almost-marriage to another operative, Brenda.  The pain of losing her still tore him up inside, even after all these years.  “I can’t even begin to tell you what it’s like.  Seeing someone come in, then the next day they’re gone.  I can’t begin to tell you how hard it is knowing that today maybe your last.  You can’t interfere, you can’t judge them.  They are doing it for you… for ever person on this planet.  Cause if they didn’t, if they weren’t willing to die then all hope would be lost.”

Brian watched Walter walk away, and felt a pang of regret for the other man.  He couldn’t even begin to imagine how many friends, and lovers Walter had lost over the years.  He couldn’t even begin to understand what the man had been through during his almost 40 years in Section.  How could he?

Then he glanced over at Justin, watching how the young man took control of the team.  Justin wasn’t the same young man he had met all those years ago.  He was a man – strong, independent, and braver than Brian ever thought he was.  When he thought Justin was dead, he had felt like his life had stopped.  He didn’t want to go on.  Maybe that’s part of what Walter felt.  ‘But how do you do that day in and day out for that long?  How do you do that and still exist?’ Brian wondered.  It was something he hoped he never found out.  For now… he had Justin, he had his family and friends.  That was all he needed.  All he had to do was make the most of the time he had with them, and not take any of them for granted.

He only hoped that Mikey learned that lesson as well.  But for now, they had a mission to observe.  They had a job to do, and hopefully they would all come out of it in one piece.

* * * * * * * * *

  
Justin pulled Brian and Mikey off to the side as the van was loading. He wanted to make sure that everything was good, and that nothing would go wrong. The last thing he needed – any of them needed – was Mikey getting frisky. Mikey wanted to do something, wanted to be a hero, and Justin wanted to stop that before Mikey embarrassed them all. “There really isn’t much for you two to do. Just listen to Michael, Quinn, and Walter. If they tell you to do something… do it.   No questions asked. Okay?” he asked.  
  
Justin knew that he would get no problems from Brian… well unless something really went wrong, but he had no intention of that happening. It was Mikey who was the unknown factor in this whole mess.  
  
“I don’t see why we can’t do something besides just sit around.” Mikey asked.  
  
Justin looked at Brian hoping the older man would explain to his friend the importance of doing what was asked. Turning away, Justin made his way into the Van, to do final preparations for the mission.  
  
Brian ran his hand through his hair, and let out a long breath. “Mikey, just do what they say. It’s that simple. We don’t know how to do a mission… we don’t even know the parameters of this whole thing. Just sit back and watch.” Brian figured he might want to appease his friend, if for nothing else than to get him to do what was being asked of them. “Besides, it will be good lesson for when it’s our turn. Right?” Brian watched as Mikey’s eyes lit up and Brian had to keep from rolling his eyes. He knew he had Mikey. “Let’s go.”  
  
Brian was scared for his friend. It seemed that Mikey was getting a ‘hero’ complex, or something. Mikey had always wanted to do something that was out of the comics, and this would be his chance. Not for the first time, Brian wished that Mikey had just listened to him to begin with and stayed the fuck away from him. It was worse now after the small mission the night before. Mikey felt like this was kid’s play, that nothing could stop him. He felt on top of the world, and Brian had to try and put a stop to it. He had to stop his friend from making a mistake that could cost him his life… and the lives of countless others. The last thing he wanted – would ever forgive – is if Mikey was responsible for something happening to Justin. No, that was something Brian would never be able to get over. Not now… not when he had just found the blond again.  
  


* * * * * * * * *

  
As midnight rolled around, a black van parked just outside a small warehouse district. The doors opened and eleven people dressed all in black began to make their way toward one of the buildings. Within three minutes the door was opened, and the small group worked their way inside.  
  
The non-descript van sat there, lights out waiting for them to return.   


* * * * * * * * *

  
“We’ve reached the lower level.” Came a voice over the intercom.  
  
“There are five heat signatures coming from the third door on the left. The safe is one floor down, last door on the right,” Quinn informed the group.  
  
“Team one move to second mark and hold. Team two move toward target.” Michael stated as he sat behind a small computer screen.  
  
Brian and Mikey sat there and watched the Section team work.  It still amazed Brian at the efficiency of the group. He couldn’t understand how they could be so calm. Not when they were possibly facing sudden death. Not when they were faced with losing ones they had grown to care about. Stealing a glance at Mikey, Brian saw the other man engrossed in what was happening. It seemed like Mikey was soaking it all up, his eyes never leaving the screen before them.  
  
From inside the van they could hear shouting, and gun fire as the red dots on the screen began to vanish. “Cooper’s down,” said a voice. “Team one move to third mark.”  
  
On screen, they watched as the team on the upper level began to disperse and move throughout the building. Some staying on the current level while others moved from room to room. “Material in sight.” Justin stated over the Comunit.  
  
“Hold one.” Quinn stated as she began to type something into her computer. “Security system by-passed.”  
  
More gunfire could be heard as Michael looked from screen to screen. “All teams phase two, and prepare egress.” Michael stated. He watched as his former team began to prepare for evacuation. On the screen before he watched as each charge was set and activated.  
  
“Material secure, all teams move out.” Justin stated after what seemed forever. “We have sixty seconds.”  
  
Brian and Mikey watched as Walter took one last look at his screen and pressed a button, sending a silent prayer that everyone would make it out in time. All eyes were drawn to the screens as the countdown began, waiting for the team to come back into the van.   


* * * * * * * * *

**000045 seconds**  
  
Justin ran down the passage way, being followed by the rest of his team. As they turned a corner, they found the missing members of the terrorist groups. “All teams move to secondary egress. We’ve met resistance.” He stated as his team opened fire on the enemy, quickly moving toward the only other exit to the outside.   


* * * * * * * * *

**000030 seconds**  
  
Brian leaned forward in his seat, watching as Justin team began to move swiftly to the other side of the building. They heard the gunfire as it erupted inside the building.

 * * * * * * * * *

**000025 seconds**  
  
“Door’s on a security lock. Quinn?” Justin asked.  
  
Quinn quickly began to work on her computer, trying to bypass the security system in order to open the door. “Dammit.” She whispered as she continued to type. “Almost there.”  
  
Walter looked over at Quinn, and reached for the remote device for the explosives. “We’ve got to stop it. Michael?” Walter begged. “We can’t leave them there to die.”

 * * * * * * * * *

**000018 seconds**  
  
“Got it.” Quinn stated. The door latch opened allowing Justin and his team to quickly go through it. Now all they had to do was get up to the upper level and out.  
  
Time slowed for Brian as he held his breath, waiting for word that they had gotten out. Ten seconds left, and no word.  
  
**Eight**. Brian was ready to jump out of his seat and try to stop the explosion.  
  
**Six**. “We’re clear.” Brian let out the breath he was holding. He only hoped that they were far enough away to avoid getting caught up in the blast. As the timer reached zero, they all felt the blast rock the sides of the van. The door opened shortly after that allowing all eleven members of the team to enter. Some being carried by other members of the team.  
  
Quinn took the document from Justin and put it in her computer. “We’ve got it.” She stated with relief. “Nothing was able to be transmitted from the location.”  
  
“All the notes in the office indicated that they only had the one copy. They didn’t have a chance to break the code.”   Justin informed Quinn and Michael.  
  
“So that’s it?” Brian asked.  
  
Walter smiled at him and nodded. “The world is safe once again. Hell yeah.”   


* * * * * * * * *

  
As everyone worked to get Justin’s cottage back to normal, Brian looked out the window and watched as Justin said good-bye to Adam and Michael. Brian wondered what life would have been like if Justin had been able to be around for Gus the way he is around for Michael’s little boy. Waving good-bye, with promises to see him in a couple of days, Justin turned and walked back to the house, smiling at Brian in the window. Brian knew he would have fantasies about Justin walking toward their home for years to come. It was something that they may never have, but Brian knew he could dream.  
  
“Hey handsome,” Justin stated as he moved in behind Brian, wrapping his arms around the man’s waist. “Ready to head back to the Pitts?”  
  
“No, but I guess I have to be.” Brian stated. Truth was, he didn’t want to go back. He wanted to continue the fantasy that he was having. Only the two of them, stuck out there in the woods.  
  
“Listen, I have some down-time coming. I was thinking… well, maybe you would like to hang out for a while. You know just the two of us.” Justin asked resting his chin on Brian’s shoulder. “We can do anywhere you want… well within reason of course. Just you and me… no Section.” He stated with a light kiss to Brian’s ear. “No Center.” Kiss. “No friends. Just the two of us.”  
  
Brian turned around in Justin’s arms and laid his arms across Justin’s shoulders. “Sounds hot. When and where, Sunshine?”  
  
Justin shrugged. “I have just a couple of things I need to get in order first. Help move into the new headquarters. Maybe a couple of weeks at most. One month tops.”  
  
“Sun, water, sex… what more could a queer ask for?” Brian stated as he leaned down to kiss Justin. Pulling back, Brian rested his head against Justin’s. “One month… no more. If we aren’t on a beach somewhere by then…”  
  
“I’ll be right behind you.” Justin smiled. “Come on… let’s finish up here… then maybe… take a nice, long walk before we leave.”  
  
“Walk? Sex, Justin… fucking. That’s all I want to do until we get back in that car.” Brian whispered in Justin’s ear, pulling their bodies flush against each other. “Lots of sex.”  
  
“Hell yeah.” Justin added. Reaching up he pulled Brian’s lips down to his own, pushing his tongue inside his lover’s mouth. “First… I have to check something. Then we’ll go check out one of the rooms upstairs. You know… make sure we got everything.”  
  
“What now?” Brian whined.  
  
“Not to worry. Why don’t you go up there and wait for me? I’ll only be a second.” Justin told his lover, pulling away. “Go on.” Justin swatted Brian on the ass to get the older man moving. “I’ll be there shortly.”  
  
“Ten minutes.” Brian said as he moved away from Justin and began up the stairs.  
  
Justin watched his lover go, then turned toward the back of the house. He had one more thing to do before he called this mission over. Once the door was opened, he spotted Mikey sitting on one of the porch swings. “I hope you learned something.” Justin told Mikey as he sat down next to the other man.   
  
“Yeah, you should have stayed dead.” Mikey hissed. “My life has been a mess since you came into it. Now, you’re dragging Brian along with you. I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I plan on finding out. And when I do… I’ll make sure that Brian never sees you again.”  
  
Justin shook his head, and laughed. “You’re life is a mess because you made it one. You are responsible for your own life, and your own problems. My being alive or dead has nothing to do with it. I didn’t bring you into this mess…you did that all on your own. You should just make the most of it. If I had my way, and if I didn’t care about Brian like I do… you would have been dead by now. But I know how Brian cares about you. So until the day that you fuck up… you can thank Brian every day for your continued living.”  
  
“Are you threatening me?” Mikey asked. “I don’t owe you shit. You wouldn’t have killed me. You act like some big hot shot, but you’re nothing.”  
  
“Trust me. It’s not a threat, it’s a promise. You screw up, I will fuck you up one way or another. Whether it is actually putting a bullet in your head, or it’s destroying your life. One way or the other, I will do it. Never doubt that.” Justin stood from his spot and headed toward the door. “Just remember, Mikey. Do the right thing… don’t fuck up, and we’ll get along just fine. Don’t doubt me. I don’t give a rat’s ass about you. You’re nothing to me. I won’t hesitate next time.”  
  
With that Justin left Mikey to think about what he had said.   It didn’t matter if Mikey believed him or not. Justin knew he would do it. He would kill Mikey if it came down to it. Friendships and family be dammed.   


* * * * * * * * *

  
“Hey,” Brian said with a smile as he picked up the phone. It had been three weeks since the mess with the Directory being recovered, and it seemed like things were slowly returning to normal. The only thing that Brian was looking forward to was his vacation time with Justin coming up. Nothing else mattered. He only hoped that this call was good news, and that he could start packing.  
  
“Hey,” Justin replied. “I have some bad news.”  
  
“Fuck, what now?” Brian asked. It seemed like things just kept coming up that would postpone their trip, and it seemed like this time was no different. “I’m beginning to wonder if they even want us to go on vacation.”  
  
Justin laughed slightly, and Brian could almost see Justin shaking his head. “It’s not like that. They owe me this, and Nikita wouldn’t stop me from going.” Brian reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. He didn’t hold Justin’s belief in the head of Section. He didn’t trust the woman, he just hadn’t been able to figure out why he didn’t trust her. His gut was telling him one thing, and he just wished he knew what it was saying. “Anyway, I have to go on a mission.”  
  
Brian nodded, knowing that it was normal for Justin to go on missions. It wasn’t something that should stop them from getting away. “How long?” Brian asked.  
  
“It’s long term. No real date yet for completion.” Justin informed him. Brian closed his eyes, just knowing that that was more to it. “I don’t know when I’ll be in contact next.   It’s a deep undercover mission, so contact will be limited.   But I’ll try to keep Walter updated and have him pass things on to you.”  
  
“Yeah.” Brian said, not happy in the least by these developments.  
  
That conversation was the week before, and Brian still can’t get past his anger at the whole situation. As time went on, the more he hated that Justin was stuck in this world. They had put off trying to figure out WHY Justin was brought into Section, and Brian was more determined to find the answers they both were looking for.  
  
A knock on the door brought Brian out of his plans. “Come in.” he said. Brian first spotted Mikey followed closely by Vance. Seeing those two together gave Brian a sense of dread. “What’s going on?” He asked.  
  
Vance closed the door and motioned for Mikey to sit down. “I have been thinking these past couple of weeks that it is time to start your training… officially.” Vance explained. “We have a mission coming up – nothing too extreme, or dangerous – but one that I believe would allow you the time to learn.”  
  
“Why now? Haven’t we learned enough? I mean we helped with that whole directory stuff… shouldn’t we already be trained?” Mikey asked Vance.  
  
Brian tried not to laugh, rolling his lips into his mouth. “You can never learn too much, Mikey.” Brian stated looking directly at Vance. “Isn’t that right?”  
  
“Of course.” Vance answered with a small smile. “However, since the two of you have already been introduced to how missions are run, this one should be no problem. There will be more hands on, and more interaction than what you have experienced before.” Vance leaned forward a little in his chair. “We suffered a lot this past month, because of losing the directory. And normally we wouldn’t have Center personnel on a mission of this sort… however, desperate times…”  
  
“What do we have to do?” Brian asked. He knew better than anyone in the Center the suffering the organization had suffered. Justin and Walter had kept him informed of things that were going on there at Section – the loses they had suffered. Hell, it was the reason why he wasn’t able to get away with Justin.  
  
“We will be meeting with the other members of your team, and you will get your official briefing there.” Vance explained.  
  
Mikey looked over at Brian, with a lost look on his face. “When do we have to do this?”  
  
“The other members of your team are already waiting for us in the conference room. You leave in the morning.”  
  
Brian only nodded and stood from his chair. “Let’s get this over with.” The three headed out of the office and made their way down toward the conference room. Brian opened the door, and froze in place. “Justin?”  
  
Justin looked up at his lover, and gave him a small smile. “Brian, Mikey. Welcome to the team.”   


* * * * * * * * *

**#1 Crush By Garbage**  
I would die for you  
I would die for you  
I've been dying just to feel you by my side  
To know that you're mine  
  
I will cry for you  
I will cry for you  
I will wash away your pain with all my tears  
And drown your fear  
  
I will pray for you  
I will pray for you  
I will sell my soul for something pure and true  
Someone like you  
  
See your face every place that I walk in  
Hear your voice every time that I'm talking  
You will believe in me  
And I will never be ignored  
  
I will burn for you  
Feel pain for you  
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart  
And tear it apart  
  
I will lie for you  
Beg and steal for you  
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see  
You're just like me  
  
Violate all the love that I'm missing  
Throw away all the pain that I'm living  
You will believe in me  
And I can never be ignored  
  
I would die for you  
I would kill for you  
I will steal for you  
I'd do time for you  
I will wait for you  
I'd make room for you  
I'd sink ships for you  
To be close to you  
To be part of you  
Cause I believe in you  
I believe in you   
I would die for you

  


* * * * * * * * *

**End of Acceptable Collateral**  
**To be concluded in Close Quarters Stand-by**   


  
 

**Author's Note:**

> BTW I have not given up on the current story line of my Stucky line... working on that still but seriously stuck.


End file.
